SparkNotes Blog

If Julius Caesar Had Snapchat

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I never go to parties or concerts, because I’m a forest goblin who lives on the very fringes of society, so most of my snaps are really boring and not worth the precious seconds it takes for people to figure out the Snapchat update long enough to check my story.

But if I were living in the time of Julius Caesar? 100% of my snaps would just be parades of people dancing half-naked through the streets of Rome celebrating some god or another. And sure, eventually things would take a turn for the treacherous when Caesar gets super stabbed, but it’d still be a much better story than a pic of a sad, long-forgotten ice cream cone someone dropped on the ground with the caption “it me.”

For the curious, here’s what I’m guessing it would’ve looked like if they’d had Snapchat back in 44 BC.