SparkNotes Blog

40 Triumphant Nicknames for People with Glasses

The ancient martial art of Ju Jitsu is based on using your opponent’s momentum against him/her.

Well, my bespectacled brothers and sisters: the same technique works when it comes to insults. If someone slings a “four eyes” your way, take it and make it into something stronger. If you use your opponent’s momentum to top his/her taunt, you’ll win the one-up war of insults, and go home with your pride intact.

The next time someone dare to call you “four eyes,” respond by saying you actually go by…

  1. Specs
  2. Specky
  3. Speckles
  4. Spectator
  5. Specasaurus
  6. Sir Specs-A-Lot
  7. Specs Appeal
  8. Specopoloy
  9. Harry Potter
  10. Ron Weasley Trying On Harry Potter’s Glasses, Just For Sillies
  11. Glasses
  12. Glassy
  13. Glass Act
  14. Glass of the Titans
  15. Glass Clown
  16. Glassestershire Sauce
  17. The Glassed And The Furious
  18. Mrs. Glasses
  19. Mr. Glasses
  20. Herr Professor Glasses
  21. Nose Sandwich With Glass Bread
  22. Googley Eyed
  23. Googley
  24. Googs
  25. Goolysses S. Grant
  26. Goo What You Say, That You Only Meant Well?
  27. Clark Kent
  28. Window Face
  29. The Light Bender
  30. The Genetics Defeater
  31. The Optometrist Visitor
  32. Goggles
  33. Goggletron 3000
  34. Lady Ga-Goggles
  35. Goggs
  36. Ready To Snowboard Without Fear Of Getting Snow In Eyeballs
  37. Shaun White
  38. El Guerrero De Anteojos
  39. Mr. Doesn’t Use Contacts Because Doesn’t Like The Sensation Of Touching Own Eyeballs
  40. Steve

What else?

Related Post: Glasses or Contacts?