Little Monsters, prepare to mash! After taking to Twitter to declare a “Pop Music Emergency,” Lady Gaga has released “Applause,” the first single off her forthcoming album ARTPOP, a week early. “DUE TO HACKERS AN ABUNDANCE OF LOW/HIGH QUALITY LEAKS,” Lady Gaga wrote on her Twitter page in a message deemed too important for proper sentence structure or trivial lowercase lettering, “WE ISSUE THIS POP MUSIC EMERGENCY…MONSTERS SPREAD THE WORD.”
Gaga then demonstrated her inherent passion for music—as well as her tenuous grasp on the textbook definition of the word “emergency”—by announcing the early release of her new single, “Applause.”
When Lady Gaga issues a POP MUSIC EMERGENCY, you better believe we here at SparkLife will heed her warning. Honestly, though, we’ll heed anything. A text, instructions on how to construct a sturdy shelf; we just enjoy a well-articulated opportunity to get our heed on.
Here are five observations about “Applause” that you yourself would be wise to heed.
1. A catchy, assertively high-energy dance song, it seems poised to join “Poker Face,” “Just Dance,” and “Born This Way” in the Gaga dance-hit canon. While “Applause” doesn’t quite capture the emotional relatability of “Poker Face,” and it probably won’t sidestep the velvet rope into the upper echelon of dance-club fame, it’s going to get stuck in your head.
2. Our favorite lyric from “Applause:
I’ve overheard your theory, “Nostalgia’s for geeks”
I guess sir, if you say so, some of us just like to read
Props for the shout-out to all us book nerds and double props for using manners when respectfully disagreeing with somebody!
3. Here at SparkLife, we ask ourselves one simple question when we hear a new tune: “Could we add this song to one of our playlists?”
4. We mistakenly misread the title as “Applesauce,” and half way through were like, “This song has very little to do with applesauce.” Although this section would still make sense:
Make it real loud
Put your hands up, make ’em touch, touch
If you’re going to make homemade applesauce you may as well make it real LOUD.
5. Any single that results in Ryan Seacrest looking like this receives the SparkLife seal of approval. “One of us was born this way, one of us needed to be touched up,” Seacrest added. You don’t host American Idol for 155 years without becoming a master of musical puns. We tip our hat to you, Seacrest.
Barring any future “Pop Music Emergencies,” Lady Gaga’s third studio album, ARTPOP, is set to be released on November 11.