When it was announced that How I Met Your Mother star Jason Segel penned a series of three young adult novels, we were elated. Hollyweird, as we so cleverly refer to it, is a town that follows the “monkey see, monkey do” philosophy, so a few more celebrity written young adult novels won’t be too far behind. On a somewhat related note, we’re kinda surprised there hasn’t been an all monkey version of the Harry Potter franchise yet. Monkeys and wizardry finally together in one movie!? Come on! Get it together, Hollyweird.
Anyway, here are 7 celebrities we’d like to see write a young adult novel.
JGL‘s a modern day Renaissance man. He’s like a charming, more attractive Benjamin Franklin. No offense, Benji. Well, maybe partial offense. We’re thankful for electricity, but not kites. They’re entirely too complicated. You expect us to rely on wind to have a good time. WIND?! And yes, Benjamin Franklin, I know you didn’t invent the kite, calm down. How about a declaration of independence from your crabby attitude?
Gordon-Levitt appears to have both the heart of a lion and the brain of a separate, smarter lion. Perhaps a lion with glasses, a graduation cap, and a partial scholarship to Lion Harvard. A perfect candidate to write an intriguing young adult novel.
Anna Kendrick can do no wrong. If she bonked me on the head with a comically over-sized wrench and proceeded to rob me, I would profusely apologize for only having $27 dollars and half a pack of semi-melted Rolos in my pocket. She’s the best; just take a gander at her Twitter bio: Pale, awkward and very, very small.Form an orderly queue, gents. Anna Kendrick is the type of girl who makes the eyes of cartoon men everywhere comically bug out of their sockets and makes human men Google the phrase, “Does love potion exist?” There’s no perfect recipe for creating a perfect author, but if there were it would be a dash of modesty, a dollop of acute intelligence, a healthy pinch of hyper self-awareness, salt, and a substantial lump of adorable awkwardness. Anna Kendrick, young adult author? Let’s hope so.
The young adult genre could benefit from a fun, new mystery solving duo and the actors who hilariously play Shawn and Gus on the television series Psych would make the perfect authors. We always liked the idea of writing a young adult novel about two disparate high school freshman who, to the outside world, seem to hate each other, but secretly solve neighborhood crimes together. An opposites attract, banter filled partnership that’s light on the drama and heavy on the ha-has. Here’s an excerpt:
“But who would benefit the most from canceling our summer vacation and forcing the student body to attend class year round?” Hannah asked. The answer was instantly clear to both of them. Hannah and Rigby locked eyes. “Of course,” they both exclaimed, “Principal Harris!” concluded Hannah. “Winter!” proclaimed Rigby. Rigby knew Hannah was right. The Winter season probably didn’t hatch a diabolical plot to cancel their summer vacation, but he didn’t want to give Hannah the satisfaction of being the only one correct. “Winter is my nickname for Principal Harris,” Rigby said as he nervously coughed. “Looks like we both arrived at the same conclusion.” Perfect cover Falcon, Rigby thought to himself. Ribgy often referred to himself in his own mind as “Falcon.” It was a strange thing to do. “You’re a stone-cold dummy,” Hannah bluntly said. It was going to be their most difficult case yet.
There are quite a few Saturday Night Livers past and present who could potentially write a game changing young adult novel, but the one who stands out is (probable) future Tonight Show host Jimmy Fallon. Fallon is jubilation personified. While we concede that “jubilation personified” sounds like the name of an ice cream flavor that tastes like a beetle, it’s also a trait that would help make an unbelievably interesting young adult novel. Side note, we might secretly try a scoop of beetle ice cream.
Jake Johnson transformed his grumpy, turtle facedNew Girl alter ego Nick Miller from an irritable malcontent to, well, a universally beloved irritable malcontent. In addition to possessing the unofficial title of “King of the Funny Face” Johnson, much like his New Girl character, is also quite a prolific writer. It’s like our wise, grouchy doctor always used to tell us, “Low level misanthropes make the best authors, and an apple a day keeps the yada-yada-yada conversation OVER!” Oh Dr. Boggs, you’re a certifiable crank, but we still love ya.
Forgive me while I momentarily abandon the SparkLife collective “we”: I’m pro Amanda Bynes. Granted, you’d be no more successful trying to build a sailboat from a box of stale Cinnamon Toast Crunch than attempting to understand her puzzling Twitter ramblings, but I enjoy her erratic complexity. She’s like a human treasure map: difficult to decipher, but immensely intriguing. Imagine if Bynes took all of her creatively eclectic Twitter energy and turned it into a young adult novel. Who wouldn’t be interested in reading that book? It could be about anything! A gang of streetwise Walruses’, a girl with 15 fingers, a misunderstood teenage ghost who manages an unsuccessful haunted house. ANYTHING.
Maude Apatow’s quick wit and astute observational humor proves that the comedy apple doesn’t fall too far from the comedy tree. C’mon SparkLife, don’t mock my use of the term “comedy tree.” Leaf it alone. Okay, that you can and should openly mock. We need more young adult authors who are, well, young adults. Who wouldn’t want Maude Apatow to write the book: Riley Thornell’s Guide to Becoming Popular?
Here’s the tagline: Effortlessly likeable, yet equally unimpressive, 15-year-old Riley Thornell was just voted the most popular girl in the world. From unknown to well-known, Riley finds her new-found popularity to be surprisingly amazing. The only problem? It was a mistake; a clerical error. Whoops. After a month of being the most popular 15-year-old on the planet Riley’s forced to relinquish her award to her arch nemesis, head cheerleader Candice Von Blueberry.
Maude, you’re welcome. Now get writing!
Which celebrity would you like to see write a young adult novel?