On one hand, little plastic whistles and bags of marbles are so-o-o boring and childish. On the other hand, everyone loves free stuff! Especially free stuff that is edible and/or noisy! Leave it to us to hit the happy medium; here are some ideas for party favors that won’t make you feel like a 6-year-old.
For the alternative hipster party:
Film canisters full of vintage buttons
Necklaces braided out of old cassette tape
Cookies in the shape of vegetables
For the family reunion:
A glass vial containing a single tear
Portraits of the guests, done in their own blood
For the “we are TOTALLY grown-up” mocktails-and-cheese party:
Top hats (with chin elastic)
For the “we are CHILDREN and we may as well eat sugar straight from the bag to save time” party:
Note: Doing artwork in the blood of yourself or someone you know may cause pain, death, or worse. Please take this advice with a grain of salt, but not with a grain of salt in your freshly-opened wound.