SparkNotes Blog

Answer This! Questions to Stump Text Message Services

Sometimes, you just can’t get to to a computer —we know, it’s rare.  But if you don’t have a super-spiffy cell phone with internet access and can’t get to Wikipedia or Google, who can answer your burning questions? Well, there are a slew of texting services, like Cha Cha and kgb, that promise to do just that (Hey wait! Before you start rapid-fire-texting them, find out about fees!).  The commercials for these text services make it seem like can answer anything—yes, ANYTHING.  They’re like the Magic 8 Balls of texting.  But we think we can stump ’em. Sooo, here’s our list of questions we want answered:

– Why does my chem teacher smell like pork chops and burned rubber?

– What’s going to be on my geometry exam?

– Does anyone still use the phrase “Heavens to Betsy“?

– Why can’t our parents figure out how to use predictive text?

– If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?

– Who shot John F. Kennedy?

– Do cows have feelings?

– What’s my locker combo from 7th grade?

– Where did I put my favorite hoodie?

– Does your zodiac sign really tell you anything about your personality?

Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf?

– Did my parents ever do anything super rebellious?

– Will I get a good grade on my final English essay, “The use of symbolism in Dante’s Inferno“?

– Who farted in gym class while we were doing sit-ups the other day?

– Where did I lose my wallet/sweatshirt/favorite necklace?

– Can I borrow $20?

– Did my mom sneak into my room and read my chat history?

– Am I singing off key?

– What’s my favorite color (hint: it’s not red, blue, or green)?

– Do the clocks at school really move slower than reality?

All right, so what do you want to ask the text-answer-gods?  And remember, they can answer anything, so go crazy!