How many times have you read The Great Gatsby and thought to yourself, “Am I more of a Jay or a Nick?” Well, let’s not get too “Carra-d-away,” but here’s how you can tell which side you’re on!
Signs You’re a Jay Gatsby:
When a new family moves into your neighborhood, you buy them a jacuzzi as a housewarming gift. Then, you use it to try and break up their marriage.
When someone asks you how to succeed in business, you just reply with two words: Ponzi Scheme.
You have no idea they make underwear that’s not silk.
You sleep on sheets that have as many digits to the thread count as Pi.
You have two cell phones, one for calling Donald Trump and one for calling Kim Jong Un.
Every summer you rent a beach house in the Hamptons and when people ask about your heroes, you just name all the characters from the show Gossip Girl.
You sleep on a waterbed, but there’s no water inside, just wet hundred dollar bills.
You have no problems with Gwyneth Paltrow or anything that comes out of her mouth.
When someone asks what you look for in a girl, you say a wedding ring. Then you explain, “It’s not fun if it’s not an affair!”
When you watch HBO’s Game of Thrones, you identify most with Tywin Lannister.
You have a Twitter account for you bank account.
Signs You’re a Nick Carraway:
You have no problems driving someone to an airport or helping them move, and if someone is moving to an airport you’re even happier.
You’re not a liar.
You’ve been told multiple times by SOs, “It’s not me, its you,” and “I think of you only as a friend.” Also, you’ve been told, “Don’t you think it’s a bit soon to start talking about marriage? Nick, this is our first date and we met online.”
You once explained a fish taco to a someone as a “neat treat.”
You cry all the time and quote Adele to friends.
All your pants are slacks.
Your friends describe you as a “good person,” but your SOs describe you as a “stepping stone.”
You’re idea of getting hot and heavy is a nice round of Monopoly, followed by scripture.
You once called out of class because you spent the entire day thumbing through an L.L. Bean catalog.
The most exciting thing you can think of is watching the movie Lincoln.
An ex once talked about you as having the personality of a cardigan.
You’re not a dog person nor a cat person, just a timid person.
When you create yourself as a character in a video game, you don’t exaggerate your features and attributes.