wakwy‘s a natural at blogging the classics! —Sparkitors
Chapter 7: The Governor’s Hall
The chapter is called “The Governor’s Hall,” but right away Nate tells us that “Governor” Bellingham actually lost the last election. So is he really the governor? Or just a poser?
Anyway, Hester-Biscuit has to take a pair of gloves to Bellingham. Even though he would never be seen with her in public, Bellingham obviously doesn’t think Biscuit is too sinful to do his embroidery. Shouldn’t his wife be doing that? What is she going to say when Hester of all people shows up at the door, with pretty-fied gloves for her husband in her hands? DA-RA-MA! But somehow I think Nate plans on denying us that.
Now, Hussy-Biscuit could have just sent the gloves in the mail (since the town is so small, he’d probably get them the same day) but she wants to see Bellingham personally because, get this, the townspeople want to call the Child Protective Services on Biscuit! <–(that is an epic sentence if I do say so myself. And I do say so.)
The nosy-arse townspeople think that since Little Miss Perfect (LuMP) Pearl is obviously a demon child (no, she’s just bad-arse) she should be removed from Biscuit’s care, lest the demon steal what is left of Biscuit’s tattered soul. And even if Lump isn’t actually a demon, the townspeople think its better that she be brought up with someone who isn’t as sinful as Hester.
For one thing, what the HAYell are the townspeople doing all up in Biscuit’s bidnaz? Isn’t that for the state/legislature/whatever to decide? Oh wait that wouldn’t work either. Nate has just informed me that the legislature is so messed up and biased that the whole law system was reworked just because someone got into an argument over who owned a pig! See? Even with Puritans, bacon is some serious shiz.
So anyway, Lump skips merrily beside Hester on their way to Bellingham’s place. Naturally, Nate takes this opportunity to go on for a paragraph about Pearl’s cuteness. She’s dressed in a fiery little dress, which inevitably lets Nate ramble on about how it reminds Hester of her Scarlet Letter.
Just in case you haven’t picked up on it, Hester’s scarlet letter burns her breast because it’s made of hellfire and killer bees. And it’s bothering her near to the point of insanity (which is the only legit reason I can think of that H-Bizzle should lose custody of Pearl).
Once Biscuit enters the town with her daughter, the local kids—I mean, “sombre little urchins”—decide to taunt and torture Biscuit and LuMP. But, like I’ve said before, LuMP is BADARSE. She runs to the judgmental little urchins, kicking and screaming like a banshee. (What the heck is a “banshee”?) I mean, Pearl is on FIE-YAH! The wimpy little Puritan kids run away crying to Mommy, and then Pearl walks back to Hester looking like a little angel.
“Governor” Bellingham’s house is NICE. Like, a lot nicer than you’d think Puritans allow. Inside, there’s a slave boy. Biscuit asks for Bellsy, but the slave boy tells her that he’s busy with doctors and other important people. So Biscuit does like I would have done—she just waltzes up into Bellsy’s office anyway.
Again, Nate goes on about the scarlet letter. Biscuit can see it reflected in a suit of armor in Bellingham’s office. The breastplate exaggerates the letter, so that in the reflection it almost covers Biscuit. Everybody pick up on the symbolism? Good, because I’m not about to explain about how it’s a metaphor of Biscuit’s self-esteem vs. the scarlet letter. Or how since it doesn’t totally cover her, that means that there’s a little bit of Biscuit left to fight her horrible circumstances. No, I’m certainly not going to explain these things.
Just as LuMP is staring creepily at Hester’s chest, Bellingham and his guests enter.
And of course the chapter ends, I mean what else would happen at this point? Not like we want to see the drama between Hester and Bellsy like RIGHT NOW.
Thoughts: Other than the unnecessary page of reinforcing Hester’s shame of her scarlet letter, this chapter was probably the most enjoyable so far. Okay, not really, just the part when Pearl whooped snotty kid arses.
Predictions: Pearl becomes a master Jedi and unleashes her mad fury upon the town. And I cackle gleefully.
Do you sympathize with Hester? Are you getting the symbolism?