SparkNotes Blog

How to Be Insanely Popular in High School

Yikes, we forgot to give the writer cred for this post! Sorry, Nanya_J! —Sparkitors

What follows is a Do and Don’t list that’ll make you insanely popular in high school. We know you want to be. Yes, you… I know you framed that photo Auntie Bertie took last spring—the one in which you look like a quivering dewdrop—scribbled “Homecoming Queen” under it, and put it on your nightstand.

Well, you’re in luck because THE SAVIOR IS HERE! [Proceeds to rise above ground level completely defying gravity, like Batman, but without a cape.]

DO make it a point to talk to people your first day in. You don’t want to be known as the girl who loves her shoelaces.

DON’T holler around the halls, shouting in various pitches and accents. No one wants to know what your great-grandfather ate for breakfast, either, so spare people the details.

DO sign up for a couple of clubs that interest you. Don’t be shy! You don’t want all the good clubs to get filled. And trust me, you DO NOT want to get stuck hanging out with those kids who talk about jet-packing werewolves. (Hardy har.)

DON’T sign up for everything on the rosters, for the love of… a giant pink marshmallow that traps you inside of it and totally stresses you out… Everyone can’t be in math club, and the last thing you want to be remembered as is the-guy-who-thinks-he’s-all-that.

DO wear nice clothes, and smile back at people who meet your eye. You don’t want to be known as the-girl-who’s-full-of-herself, because that’s what happens when you try pretending like you don’t care what others think.

DON’T put on epic amounts of makeup, or wear Ashley-Tisdale-In-HSM clothes. That’s just a movie, in the end. NO REAL SCHOOL gives you a customized locker. DO NOT EVEN TRY.

DO host parties at times, and actually invite people to them. This way you’ll make new friends, and people will know you exist.

DON’T throw mega-super-extravagant parties when your parents are away. Someone WILL get killed in the basement, and someone with a crazy allergy to peanuts WILL eat the peanut salad, and someone HAS TO crash into your mom’s china cabinet. It’s a law. You don’t want to be grounded right after an awesomesauce party, and you DEFINITELY don’t want to be known as the freshman pawn—used by upperclassmen for his/her nice house, but totally ignored otherwise. [evil grin] Yes, those stories are true, my child.

DO date someone you like, and have fun. Don’t bother with the façade. Be yourself and people will like you.

DON’T, for the love of GOD, stalk your crush. Chances are he has a pretty nasty girlfriend who will make sure you get noodles in your hair in the caf. A surefire way to become unpopular is getting dissed in the caf. And as Blair Waldorf told Little J, “Keep your eyes on the prize, Jenny. Forget boys.”

Have you broken any of these rules in the past?

Related Post: Unpopular or Not Popular: That Is the Question

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