Some people in the world are gifted with the ability to read two (or more) books at once. No, we don’t mean that one eye reads one book, while the other eye reads the second book. We’re talking about people who love reading so much that they usually have more than one book on their nightstand and can dip in and out of any novel whenever they’d like. Instead of completing a book before moving on to the next, these talented readers can keep up with multiple stories at the same time.
The ability to digest two books at the same time is a super power that is very real, and very interesting. If you are among those who have this ability, we have a few questions for you.
Can you teach us how it’s done, or does that go against the rules of your Two-Book-Reading Secret Society?
Must you register your powers with the government?
Can you eat two meals (such as a turkey sandwich and chocolate chip pancakes) at the same time?
Would you ever date someone who could only read one book at a time? (Be honest.)
How does it feel to be envied?
Do your ears bleed as you pay attention to two separate stories?
Is a bully forcing you to read multiple books at once? (You can tell us. It’s OK.)
Do you know what television is?
Can you move objects with your mind?
Can you tell what shape we’re thinking of?
Are you reading so voraciously out of fear you’ll one day be blinded in a freak accident and you need to read as much as you can now because you don’t want to be forced to read Braille because you’re scared your unsuspecting fingers might glide over an icky spider?
How many books did you read while reading this question?
Are you lying about your talent in order to make us all feel horrible about ourselves? (If so, it’s working.)
When you finish a book, do you mount it on your wall like a hunter mounts a deer head?
Must you flex certain back muscles in order to focus on multiple characters and plots? Which muscles, specifically?
Did you happen upon your power by chance, or did a wise, yet strict mentor teach this to you inside a mystical cave?