SparkNotes Blog

How Many Pairs of Socks Do You Own?

We hope if we get on MarauderPrincess‘s good side, she’ll send us some electric blue toe socks with kittens on them (please?). -SparkNotes editors

There are dog people, cat people, hamster people, and even platypus people.

And then there are sock people.

Sock people are generally defined as “people who keep socks for pets.” Just kidding. Seriously though, sock people are very devoted to what they do. And that is obsess over socks.

If you’re like me, then you have quite a large, healthy collection of socks of every color. Striped socks, polka-dotted socks, toe socks, and even (gasp!) the occasional solid white sock. Some of us wear them in nice, neat, tidy pairs, while others, well, go crazy with mismatching! Do you qualify as a sock person? Read on to find out…

The Normal Person (5-10 pairs of white socks)
You’re one of those people who wears *whisper* all-white socks. (Mayday! Mayday!) You’re an average kid off the street with those crew cut snow white cotton socks. You think that socks are all about keeping your feet warm and stopping blisters from forming from those new skull-covered Converse shoes. Tsk, tsk. I’m disappointed in you. What you need is a good therapy group, and a nice pair of pink plaid knee socks. Shrink, please.

The Average Sock-Lover (10-15 pairs of solid, crazy-colored socks)
You are the bottom of the pyramid, the sturdy structure that keeps us together. While you may not be absolutely insane about those awesome objects, you do seem to enjoy the occasional Halloween-themed witch socks, and can be seen wearing these with sneakers/boots.

The Cool One of the Bunch (15-25 pairs, spots to stripes to solid to toe)
You are the awesomesauce person that likes to wear crazy socks as often as possible. Wearing sandals? No prob, Bob. Just slip those babies right on over the sock of your choice. OMG! There’s a 40% off sock sale at JC Penney?! You’re the second one there, right behind…

The Sock Person (25 and over pairs, any range of styles)
You, my friend, are the leader of us all. You are the #1 sock-lover. The head honcho. The big cheese. You’re the one that has the sock obsession (complete with a pair that say “I have a sock obsession!”). You wear socks all day, every day. “But what about flip-flops?” your friends might ask. Problems mixing socks and flip-flops? Psh, that’s for amateurs. That’s why toe socks were invented, dude. You can wear socks with anything, from your beach sandals to those super-adorable hot pink pumps you wear to church. There’s never a reason not to show off your new glow-in-the-dark purple-and-red kneesocks and one of the old Edelweiss toes. You are also sometimes known as “Dobby‘s Soul Mate.”

What kind of sock person are you?

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