For the clotheshorse who has everything, moy65 offers this dangerous and possibly illegal guide to rockin’ it like GaGa! –Sparkitors
When jgrudzy asked everyone for fashion posts, I instantly thought of Lady GaGa. I mean really, she is the epitome of fashion forward! (Read: She dresses like a time-traveling opera singer from outer space.) I think Lady GaGa makes the perfect candidate for a SparkLife fashion post—the very post you’re currently reading. Here’s how you can dress just like Lady GaGa, if, God help you, that’s what you’re looking to do:
1. Befriend a Butcher. If you become tight with a good butcher, he may give you discounts on all the cuts of meat necessary for constructing a chic meat dress! And maybe you’ll have enough left over to make a nice headdress, or perhaps some goulash.
2. Acquire a whole lot of stuffed animals and fashion a gown out of them. Make sure that you sew them on well, though—don’t just staple the animals onto a sad shift dress, a la Rachel Berry.
3. Visit Warner Brothers Studios and have the makeup artists there teach you how to make a perfect lightning bolt. Now draw that lightning bolt under your eye and go: you’ve got the perfect Lady-GaGa-relaxing-at-home makeup! But watch out: David Bowie might sue you for copyright infringement.
4. Buy all the Christmas lights you can find. Wrap yourself in them. Also, clear the closest craft store’s shelves of red Chantilly lace. Of course, this works best if you happen to live in Lima, Ohio.
5. Go spelunking and look for interesting rock formations. Chisel off big chunks of rock, and figure out a way to affix them to a leather mini dress. You might want to glue fake spiders to your eyelashes to complete the look.
6. Put on a flesh-colored swimsuit, and take a bubble bath. A seriously bubbly bubble bath. Don’t rinse off the bubbles, and walk around very carefully for the rest of the day.
And there you have it! A foolproof guide to dressing like GaGa.