I feel bad for the characters in Shakespeare plays. Not because of all the big battles, family betrayals, or the fact that you’ve got about a 50% chance of being poisoned before the day is done. No, the reason I feel bad for Shakespeare’s characters is because they had no Internet. None whatsoever. They were overthrowing kings, dying for love, and baking their enemies into pies and they couldn’t even Tweet about it. What kind of life is that? What’s the point?
To correct this gross injustice on Shakespeare’s part (c’mon, Will; you were a GENIUS! You couldn’t just INVENT THE INTERNET 400 years early?), I decided to take a look at what some of Shakespeare’s most celebrated characters would do with modern technology at their disposal. My findings: Hamlet should not be allowed within 10 feet of a smartphone. We dodged a bullet there, and we didn’t even know it.