SparkNotes Blog

Life’s Unsolved Mysteries

In this clever post, Sparkler AllisonJY acknowledges life’s deepest and most perplexing mysteries, like, you know, “Where the heck is my other argyle sock?!?!” Enjoy! —SparkNotes Editors

It seems to me that no matter how advanced technology gets, there will always be mysteries that will remain unsolved–things beyond our comprehension. What things, you ask?

Well, here’s my list of unanswerable questions:

1) Why is it that when you don’t need something, it will always be lying around, cluttering things up, and when you finally need it, it will be missing?

2) When you make plans to go shopping with your best friend after school, why is there always more homework than usual?

3) Why do you always seem to be wearing your favorite shirt or brand new dress when you have a massive grape soda spill, or encounter a semi-alive very sloppy joe in your school cafeteria?

4) Why are there all those weirdoes who sound absolutely terrible but still affirm that they can sing (And really well, too!) and attempt talent-search shows?

5) Why do people who know you hate their guts still hang around you, acting all pal-y with you?

6) And then there’s the fact that your embarrassing moments are always in front of people you can least afford to embarrass yourself in front of, like a crush or the cute new guy/girl who didn’t yet know you are a complete klutz.

7) Why do parents always know when you’re lying? Did they have a lie detector or two implanted in you when you were a child?

8) Why is it that time speeds past when you’re having fun but literally stops or even turns back when you’re stuck in the lecture hall listening to an evil history teacher with a weird hairstyle and perfume that smells like (partially-digested) cabbage?

9) And then there are those people who always manage to choose the times you’re most in a hurry to block the way by walking amazingly slowly, with a “it’s a lovely day in the neighborhood” expression on their faces.

Good gosh. If anyone can answer my questions, well, they can have the cute brown suede jacket that’s always lying around my room. IF I can find it by the time I need it, that is.

Got any “unsolved mysteries” of your own? Share them with us!

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