SparkNotes Blog

Love Me or Leave Me… Alone

Lyra still can’t stop daydreaming about a future romance with her best friend James, but now she’s wondering if he’s different from all other immature teenage boys. —Sparkitors

James, James, James…

The name rings down every street of my mind. It’s like a fire drill that never ends. Sometimes, I hold my hands over my ears to try to escape the reverberating pangs of the bell so that for one moment, my mind can have some peace and quiet. Alas, it continues to clang and clash. The only chance to flee the constant warning sirens of love and of doom is to…

Well, in fact, I have no idea.

Sparklies, my lovey dovey mind is slowly turning to mush. I can’t even think about bloody war movies or a medium rare steak without James crossing my mind. My mind kind of works in this manner:

Friend: Hey! Do you know the page numbers for the math textbook reading?

Lyra: Staring off into space *James and I should go to the fair and get lost in the Fun House…* Uhhhhh, what did you say?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

To make matters worse, I was in English class, minding my own business (and trying to focus on English for once) when Mister Golden Sunshine appeared. He not only insisted on sitting next to me but also demanded my attention. And when I say attention, I mean a full-blown convo about his wonderful idea of going out for Thai right in the middle of class. Yes, of course, I ADORED his need for my attention, but I despised the fact that deep down inside, I knew he was just leading me on, as usual, down a road with no foreseeable end. After class, like every other day, he made his familiar statement. A beautiful and short, “I love yoooou, Lyra Loo!”

BUT GUESS WHAT? I made a split second decision this time. I finally said something that changed the game.

I TOLD JAMES THAT HE COULDN’T REALLY LOVE ME.

Wow. I was either really brave, crazy or just plain couldn’t take it anymore. (Probably a combination.)

He gave me the most horribly adorable puppy-dog face. I held my ground as best I could. I decided that I really needed him to understand. He didn’t respond because he needed to get to class, and left me in a chaotic state that lasted through 4th and 5th period.

Later that day, during Spanish, James asked me why I had assumed that his love for me was false. I explained to him that his extremely frequent tendencies to tell people that he “loved” them annoyed the beezlenookies out of me and was meaningless if he truly loved everyone. (If you love everyone, how am I special in any way?) While he didn’t quite understand reasons why his “love” hurt me (maybe, I don’t know, BECAUSE I ACTUALLY LIKE YOU), but he did something incredible that made me explode with happiness.

He said he wouldn’t tell anyone that he loved him or her EXCEPT ME.

How do I explain my ultimate blissful ecstasy that followed this promise?

Just imagine Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah’s couch and you’ll get the idea!!!!!!!!!

I literally had to hold my body down, lest I levitate from sheer euphoria.

A week passed and everything about a day-to-day high school life seemed to be ebbing and flowing as usual as James kept his word. Some call it the “naive period” before disillusionment, I call it “the calm before the storm.”

Wednesday afternoon, on my way to Math class, I heard it. Those words. Those words that build and tear down walls in one strong blow: I LOOOOOOOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

Of course it was James. Of course it was another girl. Of course it was ROSY, who he took to prom. What did I expect? You can’t change the ways of a flamboyant, young, immature, cutie who doesn’t know his friends from his enemies. I really was upset, but to tell you the truth Sparklebuddies, I kind of am glad about it. I mean, of course I wish that he had kept to his word, but in reality, it gives me another look into the workings of his mind. At least I can understand him a little more… He’s a teenager. More specifically, a TEENAGE BOY.

So, I leave this one up you guys. What am I going to do now?

What should Lyra do? Is James just being insincere?

Related Posts: In Love with My BFF