Turning a successful book series into a blockbuster movie franchise is fairly common in The Wood (which is how I assume industry insiders refer to Hollywood).The Hunger Games, Harry Potter, Beautiful Creatures—Tinseltown’s been using the written word to create thousand-dollar—possibly even million-dollar—movie franchises since at least 2003. But what would happen if we flipped the script, creating new books out of already established movies?
We’re about to find out!
1. The Social Momwork. The Social Network was originally adapted from the book The Accidental Billionaire, but this brand-new detective novel (which features two familiar characters a few observant Sparklers may remember) attempts to tackle one of the biggest threats facing the world today: Moms with Facebook!
“I know we’ve had our differences in the past. I have to admit, I was fairly cheesed off when you two thwarted my diabolical plan to eradicate summer vacations.”
“Yeah, tell us something we don’t know, Vice Principal Harris,” Rigby confidently replied. Rigby’s swagger had grown since he and his partner Hannah successfully solved the case of the missing summer last year.
“Penguins bond by touching necks,” Vice Principal Harris shot back.
Rigby was not expecting this. That was, admittedly, a pretty cool fact. Rigby wondered if he should retaliate with a fact of his own, but he couldn’t think of anything about penguins. Penguins eat seafood, he thought. Nah, everybody knows that. C’mon, brain. ACTIVATE. Rigby often told his brain to “activate” when he found himself entangled in a stressful situation. It rarely helped.
Nobody had said a word for 45 long seconds. Ribgy was trying to think of a fun factoid to conversationally thwart Vice Principal Harris, while Vice Principal Harris was attempting to show dominance over our two teenage super sleuths who humiliated him last year.
After two excruciatingly long minutes, they couldn’t stand the silence any longer. They spoke simultaneously.
“Dogs can’t smell colors!” Rigby shouted.
“Help me get all the moms OFF Facebook!” Vice Principal Harris exclaimed.
Hannah sighed. “We’ll take the case. We’ll help take back Facebook, but we’re not doing it for you.” Hannah took a ferocious bite of her apple. “We’re doing it for the kids.”
Vice Principal Harris wondered where the apple came from, and strongly considered reprimanding Hannah for consuming it outside the cafeteria, but he decided against it.
2. The Fast & Furious Ebook
All the fun of the Fast & Furious franchise, without all those pesky action sequences! Fast cars and the written word finally come together in a captivating tale of international intrigue and, even more importantly, friendship.
Book Cover Quote: “The most important book ever written” –Kristen Bell
“You misunderstand, Mr. President. We want full pardons for all our past as well as all our future crimes,” Vin Diesel said with a straight face. The President was certainly in a pickle. He had asked for the nation’s best defense against an impending nuclear war, and for reasons unknown to him a pair of miscreant street racers drove their Mustangs on to Air Force One.
The threat of war was imminent, but the President couldn’t resist having some fun with these jokers. “How exactly would you stop our enemies from activating their weapons?” the President asked. Vin Diesel and Paul Walker shared a knowing look. Despite their gruff exterior, they’re really good friends. “We’d do what we do best,” Paul Walker said with a wry smile. “Improvise.”
“Hard pass,” replied the President with a slight chuckle. “Mr. Rodriguez, can you please show these gentlemen…”
THWAP! Without warning The Rock punched the President in the face, knocking him unconscious. “I hope this doesn’t change your mind about our golf game, Mr. President,” The Rock said with a laugh. Nobody reacted to his joke.
Minutes earlier the president had casually mentioned how he and The Rock should get together for a leisurely round of golf once this crisis was over, but The Rock now remembered that nobody else had been in the room. “You see, the reason that was funny…” he began, but had no time to finish his anecdote before all 30 secret service men were suddenly on the attack!
After The Rock, Paul Walker, and Vin Diesel dispatched 30 of the most powerful humans in the country with relative ease, Paul Walker walked over to his best friend Vin Diesel, who had been shot 8 times during the melee. “You okay, bro?”
Vin Diesel casually popped an aspirin into his mouth and ignored the question because he’s tough. “Don’t think this means I’m letting you off the hook. You still owe me a 10-second car.” The two shared a laugh. They’re good friends.
The Rock laughed too, but he had no idea what they were talking about. Honestly, he kind of felt left out. Why isn’t anyone gossiping over the fact that he punched the President? That was kind of a big deal. Should he bring it up? Just because I have big muscles doesn’t mean I have a small heart, The Rock thought to himself. “Why can’t I find love?” The Rock whispered.
Paul Walker and Vin Diesel paused mid-hug. “What?”
“Nothing,” The Rock dismissively said as he wiped a stray tear from his eye. “Stupid contact lenses.”
3. The Pizza Coma, Presented by Domino’s Pizza
Inspired by the Hangover trilogy, this new, Domino’s-sponsored YA series follows the adventures of three friends attempting to find their missing classmate after they all temporarily lose consciousness during an all-you-can-eat pizza party.
It had been 24 hours since the all-you-could-eat pizza party at the zoo, and Daniel was nowhere to be seen. Melissa, Patrick, and Rufus discussed their concern over a delicious, reasonably priced medium one-topping pizza courtesy of Domino’s. Even though the three friends had eaten themselves into a pizza coma just 24 hours earlier, their thirst for Domino’s pizza had not been quenched.
“It’s funny,” Melissa remarked as she placed all the money she saved from choosing Domino’s into her purse, “I didn’t realize Dominos carried mouthwatering pan pizzas in addition to their already expansive menu.”
“I did,” said Rufus, his mouth full of piping hot goodness, “But that’s because I follow Domino’s on Twitter. All the cool kids follow Domino’s on twitter at @dominos.”
“Hey guys,” Patrick interjected. “Maybe we should stop talking about pizza and try to find Daniel?”
“You’re right, Patrick,” Melissa said. “And I bet I know just where to begin our search.”
“The zoo!” exclaimed Rufus like a Pizza Hut–adoring idiot.
“Nope. We just came from the zoo, Rufus. Where’s the one place you’d go if lost your memory and wanted to be seen by all the cool kids?” Melissa asked. “Domino’s!” exclaimed Patrick and Rufus in perfect unison.
“Correct! But Domino’s has over 10,000 convenient locations throughout the United States, so this might get tricky,” posited Melissa.
“That’s a lot of pepperoni!” remarked Rufus. Rufus was proud of himself for that joke. Melissa on the other hand was beginning to wish she had left Rufus at the nearest stupid Pizza Hut.
Which movie would you like to see turned into a book? Why doesn’t a book called The Pizza Coma exist? Who knew Kristen Bell was such a Fast & Furious fanatic?