SparkNotes Blog

New School Year Resolutions

We must commend Sparkler Iamjoannayupi for having the right attitude about a new school year; it’s a chance to start over and atone for all those wrongs from previous years. Enjoy her post! —SparkNotes Editors

Bowling for Soup was right: High school never does seem to end. Yes, another year of high school is here, and to get us in the right frame of mind, I’ve created a brief but complete list of resolutions (print this article and stick it on your desk! It will be extremely helpful.):

After serious thoughts and hours of self-reflection, I [put name here] resolve:

1) to stop listening to music in class. Or at least to buy tiny ear buds so the teacher won’t notice.

2) to stop staring at the underpants of the opposite sex… on Tuesdays.

3) to finally start studying. I am strong enough to open a book, sit down, and actually read it! All I have to do is believe in myself!

4) to start participating in things like the basketball team. First of all, I’ll get to meet cute guys/cheerleaders, and I can it add to my CV for university applications. This will also serve as a break from all the studying.

5) to never copy/pasting whole translation texts straight from Sparknotes again (who would have thought that xxsweetkittenlovexx, the most active Sparkler, would be my literature professor?). Yeah, even they know how to surf nowadays.

6) to place my alarm clock is 10 steps away from my bed.

7) to stop biting my pencils so next time the cute guy/girl comes and asks to borrow one, I won’t need to blush, look at my shoes, fall under my desk, crawl to the door, run down the hall, and jump out of the window screaming. Or maybe I’ll just keep a spare on hand.

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Related Post: Songs to Make You Feel Upbeat About Another School Year