SparkNotes Blog

Questions from a SparkNotes Noob

Super Sparkler houseobsessed14 agreed to answer a few questions a newbie sent to advice@sparknotes.com. Thanks, houseobsessed14, and great questions, noob! —SparkNotes editors

I recently got an email from Emily asking me to write a post for new Sparklers. The questions were originally addressed to Auntie Sparknotes, but the editors thought one of us should answer it, and I think they were right. Well, anyway, here I go, answering a newbie’s questions and trying to convince him/her that we are super awesome. Wish me luck!

Q: What are the Friday Awards?
A: The Friday Awards are special awards, given out on Friday, to super funny/witty/awesome Sparklers who post funny comments. It is considered a great honor to win one. You can also win one if it’s your birthday. A “Friampion” is someone who has won a Friday Award.

Q: When is it not creepy to add someone as your friend?
A: I guess it’s not creepy when you’ve talked to that person a lot on the comments. You have to sorta trust your own judgment on this one. If you feel like you know the Sparkler well enough, add them. If not, don’t add them.

Q: Is it considered obnoxious to post those “First!” comments? Or those “Second!” comments? Or those “Sixty-seventh!” comments????
A: This is all a matter of opinion. Some people find it annoying when others write their comment number, but others don’t mind. Personally, I think saying “first” or “second” is fine as long as it’s not followed by a bajillion exclamation points. However, “sixty-seventh” is pushing it a little. You can go a little further than first or second if it’s a Dan post, because that’s something to be proud of, which brings me to the next question.

Q: Who is Dan Bergstein?
A: Dan Bergstein is somewhat of a celebrity here on SparkNotes. It first started when he was asked to read Twilight and blog about it. He is absolutely HILARIOUS! If you haven’t already read his posts on Twilight, do it now! WARNING: If you’re a really really big fan of Twilight, the kind that goes “OMG I LUV EDWARD!!!1 HE IS SO HAWT!!!1,” you may be offended. If you like the books, but you can handle criticism, then you’ll be fine. If you dislike them, you’ll be absolutely dandy!

Q: Who are you!?!
A: Who am I? Well, I’m just your normal 8th grade girl who’s slightly above average academically, devours books, is addicted to the TV show House, and is a devoted Sparkler. Oh, wait, were you asking Sparklers we are as a whole? Yeah…you were. We are a bunch of awesome people of various ages from almost every country you can think of who found this site. In general, we are very nice, somewhat nerdy, and altogether hilariously awesome. I think you’re going to like it here, newbies. I think you’re going to like it a lot.

Some other important things you guys should be aware of:

* If someone is talking about “Gary,” they are probably referring to the huge gray abyss that appeared in October under the comments section. It’s gone now, but sometimes when people’s comments disappear, it’s the work of Gary’s ghost.

* I know this is sort of a given, but I feel I should say it anyway: If you’re just a stupid obnoxious spammer, please leave. You’re not cool. You’re annoying. Goodbye!

* If you need help with the struggles of teenage life, send your question to either Auntie Sparknotes or Chris. They’re both super helpful and awesome and nice.

        I hope this helped, and I hope you enjoy being a Sparkler. You will soon find that we are some of the coolest, nicest, and nerdy-in-a-cool-way people on the internet. If any new Sparklers have any other questions, just post ’em in the comments. One of us old timers will answer them. I hope to see lots of new usernames around!

        Is there anything house missed?

        Related Post: The 6 Types of Sparklers

        Want a pony to write for SparkLife? Send your submission and nickname to contribute@sparknotes.com for consideration!