Everyone gets jealous from time to time. Seems like there’s always someone with better hair than you, better grades than you, or more intricately tied shoes. (To each her own!) A little envy is normal, but should you put the brakes on your rivalries before they spiral out of control? Here’s a quiz:
1. Your friend just came to school in that really cute dress you wanted. You even pinned it on Pinterest, so her buying it is pretty Pinsensitive of her. Do you: a. Decide it’s ugly after all. Confirm it with a mutual friend. I mean, she looks weird in it, right?
b. Tell her she looks great and start brainstorming new looks to put together with what you already have.
c. Trap her in your basement and use her as a guinea pig in a series of scientific experiments. Tell everyone she left town because she hates them so much. Because how dare she?!
d. Cry a lot, and tell people it’s because of the polar ice caps melting.
2. You’re up for the lead in the school play. Instead you get cast as Tree #3. Do you: a. Decide theater’s not your thing. I mean, who does theater, anyway? Weirdos, right?
b. Be the best Tree #3 you can be! USA! USA!
c. Devise a mind-control ray gun and zap the theater teacher until he changes his mind and awards you the role, and also his salary.
d. Cry a lot, and tell people it’s because you stubbed your toe really bad.
3. You’re single and your best friend just started dating a great guy. Do you: a. Tell her you’re happy for her but spend more time with your other friends. Who needs to watch her friend suck face with some dude?
b. Be excited for her and get all the details! Get to know him, too. Maybe he’ll be a new friend!
c. Hack her Facebook so that it responds to all his messages “we’re over :(“. More friend time for you!
d. Cry a lot, and tell people it’s because you were listening to Adele.
4. You’re great at math, but your friend got a higher score on her test than you. How did THAT happen? Do you: a. Study hard so you can show her up next time.
b. Congratulate her and ask her to help you study for the next one.
c. Design a device that will suck her brain out of her ear. You can’t get As if you can’t read or do any of that other stuff your brain helps you with!
d. Cry a lot, and tell people it’s because you finally saw Les Mis.
If you answered…
Mostly A’s: You’ve got a healthy sense of competition and you channel it into your own success. It’s great to be motivated by your friend’s achievements, but be careful not to compare yourself too much, because it might make you a little mean.
Mostly B’s: Congratulations! You are not jealous at all. How do you do it? Are you lying? Did you lie when you answered these questions so that you could get a better score? How did you do that? Why didn’t I get this answer?!
Mostly C’s: You’re a very jealous person and also probably a mad scientist. Why are you so jealous when you have such an advanced lab? Maybe you should rethink your priorities! Cure some diseases! Make me a machine that does all my work for me and ties my shoes, then buy an island and make other people jealous of you.
Mostly D’s: You have a jealousy problem, it’s true, but more importantly you have a crying problem. Have you been out in the sun lately? You should go outside. Get some vitamin D. Sleep more. Drink water. Pet a puppy. Have you heard of cookies? They help too.