It’s December, which means it is OFFICIALLY HOLIDAY SEASON. You know, the time of year when you have a million parties to go to, a million assignments to finish and a million holiday sweaters to choose between. It’s exhausting.
The only thing more exhausting than having to eat pecan pie for dinner two weeks running is having to save the world—and that’s why the perfect holiday season companion is undoubtedly one of the Avengers. They’ve just saved the world, and they’re ready to relax/chill/Netflix with the rest of Earth. But which latexed demigod/inventor/assassin will be chilling at your house over winter break? Delve inside your pecan with this quiz…
1. What’s your favorite thing about the holidays?
a) Getting together to chat and larf and try to lift Thor’s hammer.
b) Spreading joy! Christmas is the Fourth of July of winter.
c) Presents. Duh. Looking at/laughing at the fluffy Santa-themed lingerie in Victoria’s Secret.
d) More activities! Gingerbread houses. Tree decoraing. Competitive eating. I tend to get bored easily.
2. You turn on the TV. It’s your favorite holiday movie. What are you parking your sweater-clad butt down to watch?
a) Richie Rich’s Christmas Wish
b) It’s a Wonderful Life
c) Die Hard
d) How the Grinch Stole Christmas
3. It’s party time! What dish are you bringing to share?
a) A big bowl of mulled cider.
b) Fruitcake. Yes, fruitcake!
c) Fudge, sliced into perfect squares.
d) Shrimp with cocktail sauce? idk I’m not from around here.
4. You want to kiss someone special under the mistletoe. How do you go about it?
a) Just grab them as they pass under when you do. Or build a mechanism that drops a mistletoe from the ceiling at the press of a button when the target is in place. Easy!
b) “Um, do you want to go stand under the thing with me?”
c) Wait underneath it, then catch their eye and nod.
d) Just wait. Eventually you’ll both be under it, and the laws of physics will take over.
5. 24 hours of…
a) A Christmas Story! A Christmas Story!
b) Wholesome popcorn-chain making.
c) Waiting under the mistletoe.
d) Snarky holiday sweaters.
6. What do you say when someone tells you they really don’t like the holiday season?
a) “So you haven’t been to the right party yet. Got it.”
b) “You’ll like it after you put on these FLASHING RUDOLPH EARRINGS.”
c) “Not everyone has to like everything. I like you, though.”
d) “I feel you. I spend Christmas curled up in a red and white slanket in my lonely penthouse.”
7. Pick a snowy weather activity.
b) Shopping for fair isle beanies at Urban Outfitters
c) Delivering food to elderly folks
d) Throwing snowballs at passing cars
8. Pick a snowy weather drink.
a) Sparking water, mixed with whatever juice I feel like.
b) Wassail. It’s a classic!
c) Punch, with a single ice cube.
d) Hot cocoa—dark chocolate if I can find it.
9. What’s your signature holiday accessory?
a) Elf shoes with jingle bells. Don’t waste my time!
b) My furry hat. It goes with everything.
c) Touchably soft mittens.
d) A classy woven scarf.
10. Finally, what is the true meaning of Christmas?
a) Having a bang-up time and forgetting the massive mistakes I made this year (don’t mention Ultron, dont mention Ultron).
b) Spreading true joy, and looking like Santa when I shave my handsome face each day.
c) Giving and receiving… KISSES AND LOOKS.
d) Being naughty and nice.
TALLY UP YOUR ANSWERS/EAT FIVE MARSHMALLOWS FROM A TOASTING STICK
Mostly As: Tony Stark is Iron Man, and he is YOUR best bud this holiday.
You’re gearing up to be the host with the most, which makes the I-Man your perfect wingman. Don’t worry. he won’t steal all your special holiday popcorn. At least not every batch you put out.
Mostly Bs: You’re bringing Cap along on this holiday adventure! Head to MarthaStewart.com and have a ball!
You have plenty of enthusiasm and want to bounce along with someone who can match that enthusiasm. It’s the most wonderful time of the year, after all!
Mostly Cs: It’s Black Widow, baby.
You are seriously bringing the flirt this holiday, as well as the present fiend. It’s all good, it’s all good. Natasha’s got your back. Just be sure to share your stocking loot, mmmkay? It takes skill to keep such an effective lookout for Santa.
Mostly Ds: Loki’s tagging along with you this holiday season.
He may not be an Avenger, but he has no choice but to partake in your holiday merriment! You’re clearly not getting into the holiday swing of things, and need a benevolent Asgardian god to prod you in the direction of holiday mischief. Or toward the mistletoe. Whatever’s nearest.