When it comes to first kisses, people become strangely romantic. Even the most hardened cynic melts a little when hearing or recounting the story of young love and an awkward tongue tango. Trying to find the perfect first kiss scenario is like playing Clue, except instead of solving a murder, you’re trying to pick the perfect partner, location and flavor of chapstick to make your first kiss memorable and as non-traumatic as possible. At the end of the day the perfect first kiss exists in your head as a mash-up of fantasies, feelings and all the glorious tension that leads into it. Whether you’re surrounded by a field of poppies or by the dumpster of your favorite bakery won’t really affect how awesome your first kiss will be. That said, some places are just a little more conducive to romance than others.
Least:In the school gym surrounded by dodgeballs and the ghosts of failed presidential fitness exams past.
Most: The school’s science hallway romantically lit by the fluorescent lights filtering through various preserved flora and fauna.
Least: Paris. It’s so trite. And lame.
Most:Morocco—preferably after an Indiana Jones-style caper.
Least: While volunteering at the church daycare center. Sticky pre-schoolers and their toys don’t exactly scream romance.
Most: When volunteering to clean up and plant trees in the local park. Years later you can come back and admire your handiwork and reminisce in the shade that you made.
Least: In the concession line at the movies—it’s already stressful enough choosing snacks without having to factor in the mechanics of lip locking.
Most: In the back row of a movie you’ve already seen, or better yet, at home watching a movie you’ve seen a thousand times.
Least: In the mall food court after eating a super size snack order of garlic knots.
Most: In the mall parking lot after having your bags filled with cute clothes carried to your car for you.
Least: On the beach after getting sunburned. You’ll end up finding sand in place where sand should never be.
Most: On the boardwalk after sharing a churro Lady and the Tramp-style
Least: In the rain—there’s nothing fun about getting wet. Your mascara will run and the fall risk is too high.
Most: After it rains. Waiting means that the world will smell amazing and be slightly safer.
Least:On the football field after wining a big game. There’s just too much pressure to perform well.
Most: Under the bleachers during the football game. It’ll feel like the world has pretty much stopped for you.
Least: In the art museum surrounded by paintings of long-dead people who all look exceptionally judgmental and condescending.
Most: In the dinosaur room of the natural history museum. Nothing is cooler than dinosaurs.
Least: In your bedroom. Let’s be real, you’re room is a mess and that One Direction poster, while amazing, would give any guy an inferiority complex.
Most: In your kitchen while baking chocolate chip cookies. Nothing puts people in the mood for love like chocolate!
Least:On the couch in your best friend’s basement as a party rages around and people are obviously Instagramming you.
Most:In your best friend’s game closet with decade-old versions of Monopoly and Pictionary, and lit by a lone incandescent light bulb.
Where do you think is ideal for a first kiss sitch?