Every night before we go to bed we thank William Shakespeare, Geoffrey Chaucer, and Jane Austen for the English language. English as a language is pretty crazy-awesome what with its constant state of metamorphosis. Though people like to diss “made-up” words and phrases like plumber’s butt, ghosting, and cronuts, pretty much most words were made up when they were first used!
The wonderful thing about this is that when you run into those lists of things English has no word for, you can totally make one up! And if it catches on, it’s legit. Once upon a time, there was no word for shipping, and in that sad and gray time you’d have had to say “I want X and X to kiss! *blush*” to get your point across. That is OVER TWICE AS MANY WORDS as “I ship them.”
Here, we’ve helpfully decided to fill some of the most glaring gaps in the English language today!
Chronically prefacing your sentences with “I read somewhere that…”
Possible word: wikipitus, wikipolic. Hi everyone, my name’s Amber and I took a quiz somewhere online that said I’m a wikipolic.
The emotional lift you get from watching cat videos.
Possible word: ameowxicillin. It’s been a rough day. I need a shot of ameowxicillin.
Believing you could beat someone up when realistically, you cannot, like a small dog believing it is big and bad and would destroy the UPS man if you would not hold him back.
Possible word: toylusion. He thinks he could compete in pro wrestling, but it’s a total toylusion.
Opposite of ghosting: dating someone without telling them. Most often applied to drool-worthy celebrities.
Possible word: zombing. I am simultaneously zombing ALL of the Chrisses.
The clutter that inevitably fills up your purse that you really need to just throw away: old receipts, concert ticket stubs, linty candy, and dead pens.
Possible word: prums. Talia can’t come out cause she’s grounded till she gets rid of all her prums.
Waking up in the morning and feeling very sad, and then realizing you’re just hungry.
Possible word: fauxmourning Without fail, I fauxmourn every morning.
Mourning celebrities or public figures that you didn’t know personally. Ex. When Leonard Nimoy died.
Possible word: celesadding Terry Pratchett and Leonard Nimoy died within two weeks of each other. I don’t know about you, but my celesad receptors are burned out.
Accidentally rereading the same sentence/paragraph over and over because you cannot focus.
Possible word: rerereadreading I tried to read all the Harry Potter books in three days, but by Order of the Phoenix I was rerereadreading.
Feeling your phone vibrate when it hasn’t actually vibrated.
Possible word: cellucinating I’m waiting for a text from you-know-who-(not-Voldemort,-silly), but I just cellucinated three times today instead.
Any crucial phenomena we missed here? What do you think we need a name for?