SparkNotes Blog

Things Geniuses Would Never Say

Geniuses. They say the darndest things! Always waxing philosophical and being all smart and stuff. Haven’t you ever wished that they’d say something inconsequential and stupid just to make you feel better about yourself? Well, we’re here to make that happen. Below are a list of things that geniuses throughout the ages would never say:

“I know it sounds, like, whatever… but Zoomba completely got rid of my love handles.”
-Theodore Roosevelt

“If I had to choose, I guess I’d go with Thin Mints. No… you know what? Samoas. Yeah, Samoas.”
-Alexander Graham Bell

“Well, if I’m calling you about my internet not working, then why do you think I’d be able to look online for help?”
-Mahatma Ghandi

“Yep, it’s straight… it’s straight, it’s straight, it’s… oh, well, now it’s too far to the left. Good job, dummy.”
-Betsy Ross

“Look at that painting. My nephew could do that. Oh it’s yours. Ah. My nephew’s actually very talented.”
-Alexander Hamilton

“That is unbelievable. I saw that lady break an egg in that dozen then just walk away. I saw you break that egg then just walk away! I’m telling the manager!”
-Walt Whitman

What else would famous geniuses never say?