The frightening film fest leading up to Halloween has begun, and we’re here to celebrate it in all its spooky glory. Take this quiz to find out whether you’re a classy killer, a monstrous murderer, or a sinister spirit!
1. The motivation behind your murderous habit is:
a) Why, the pure fun of it, of course! [protracted evil giggle] (1 point)
b) Purely culinary. (2 points)
c) To teach my victims important lessons about themselves. Kind of philanthropic, actually. (3 points)
d) Attention. Isn’t that what every kid wants? (4 points)
e) Everyone’s got to have a hobby. Why not witchcraft? (5 points)
2. What is your trademark?
a) Games. I love games. (3 points)
b) Weird bunches of sticks, strange sounds at night, the usual. You should see how freaked out it makes people! (5 points)
c) Fava beans. (2 points)
d) My victims rarely stay dead. (1 point)
e) I make sure to give my victims a week’s notice. (4 points)
3. Where are people most likely to run into you?
a) Are you looking at a screen right now? Then I’m with you. (4 points)
b) You’d know me if you saw me. Especially since I’d be the last thing you’d see. (2 points)
c) My secluded castle. Have you not been? I simply must have you for dinner. [Evil laugh-a-thon] (1 point)
d) Just get lost in the woods, and I’ll take it from there. (5 points)
e) Giant abandoned complexes out on the edge of town. I own all of them. (3 points)
4. How do you choose your victims?
a) Anyone who annoys me is up for grabs. (2 points)
b) Oh, I don’t pick them. They pick me. (4 points)
c) Children work best for my rituals, but a lost adult will do in a pinch. (5 points)
d) Whoever needs me the most. (3 points)
e) Well, I have quite eclectic tastes. But generally speaking, I prefer the young and healthy. (1 point)
5. What are you most afraid of?
a) An irresponsible society. (3 points)
b) Classic Italian food. And slayers. (1 point)
c) Overcooking. It’s such a waste. (2 points)
d) Water. I’ve had some pretty bad experiences with it. (4 points)
e) Me? Afraid? HAVE YOU MET ME? (5 points)
Add up your points and divide by 5. Round your number up or down. If you got:
1. You are Count Dracula. You are mysterious, handsome, and making the best of being dead. Perhaps the classiest of horror movie villains, you care a great deal about your guests’ etiquette, background, and social standing. After all, you are what you eat.
2: You are Hannibal Lecter. Though you share a bond with Count Dracula — you are both men of finer tastes, in more ways than one — you are much more, let’s say, resourceful than he is. They say the line between genius and insanity is very thin, and you are proud to be living proof of that.
3. You are Jigsaw. Do you want a play a game? Of course you do. You love nothing more than devising brutal traps to teach people the error of their ways. Those who survive sometimes even thank you for it, and those who don’t: well, I guess they just couldn’t hack it.
4. You are Samara Morgan. What’s a girl got to do to get some attention around here? You had a brutal life, and you’re just looking to spread the word as efficiently as possible. If your haunted tape gets copied, no big deal, you’ll let up on your victim. But if it doesn’t, see you on TV!
5. You are the Blair Witch. Hey: a witch has got to do what a witch has got to do. It’s not your fault people keep getting lost in your territory! You are ethereal, powerful, and pretty darn evil. Nobody knows exactly why you ritualistically kill, mostly because those who would like to ask end up… ritualistically killed.