Yes, it’s finally time to answer that age old question. What if famous authors wrote the books of other famous authors? We think it’d go a little something like this:
If J. D. Salinger Wrote Crime and Punishment:
I don’t know if you’re expecting to hear a story about a guy who tries to do the right thing or some sort of crap like that, but that’s not what I’m about. Like, maybe you like hearing about Tom Sawyer or Nancy Drew or one of those phonies, but that’s not me. Things are tough for me, you know? I live in Russia in like, the 1800s or whatever. Have you ever lived in Russia in the 1800s? It’s so messed up it makes you want to kill an old lady or something. Speaking of which, there’s this poem I want to tell you about.
If Shakespeare Wrote Curious George:
Man in the Yellow Hat: Upon this Jungle do I once again find myself, but in my deep loneliness I bemoan my bootless fate and resign myself to await the grim specter who brings dreamless sleep!
ENTER CURIOUS GEORGE
Curious George: Forsooth, what light beyond yond yellow hat breaks? I am the East and that guy is the sun!
Man in the Yellow Hat: Look upon this monkey! Shall I compare him to a summer’s day? He is hairier, and more of a primate!
If Kurt Vonnegut Wrote The Great Gatsby:
This is the story of a green light, but it doesn’t start that way. The story starts with a man named Nick Carraway. He recently graduated Yale, or so it would seem from our perspective. In fact, Nick is at this moment being born, dying, entering Yale, leaving Yale and every moment of time in his life in between. Even now as he wishes to join high society, in another time simultaneously he’s realizing that he wants no part of it. He meets a man named Gatsby who pines for a girl named Daisy. She’ll hit someone with a car and he’ll drown in a pool. So it goes.
If Homer Wrote Where the Red Fern Grows:
Billy Coleman followed the hounds into the woods as they tracked the scent. Through the woods they walked, tracking the scent until with sudden force the cyclops Polyphemus burst through the trees. Athena favored Billy and gave Polyphemus a lethal allergy to hounds.His powerful sneezes carried Billy and the hounds from the forest and on to the rest of their Odyssey.
If Dr. Seuss Wrote Beowulf:
Beowulf was a hero without fear/
he would deal with Grendel, that much was clear.
First he would need weapons to whack with/
so he went to Sneegalor, the blacksmith.
Sneegalor melted down bronze and zinc/
and forged them together to make a smackamadink!
Beowulf held the smackadink high/
and shouted his intentions up to the sky!
He declared Grendel would have heck to pay/
and with a hop on his horse he was off on his way!
What books would you like to see other authors take on?