SparkNotes Blog

What Should Beyoncé Name Her Baby?

ginger00416 has got some ideas for Jay-Z and Beyoncé. Any of these sound like a keeper? —Sparkitors

As you all probably know—unless you have been living under a rock with no Wi-fi—Beyoncé is pregnant. She and Jay-Z have finally decided to procreate and produce a chic, bootylicious little baby.

What you may not know is that the baby’s sex was revealed….accidentally by Kelly Rowland.  She dropped the bomb during an interview when she claimed that “I think her dad is gonna give her everything anyways, all I can give her is love.”  While Beyoncé might be upset that she couldn’t reveal the news in an extravagant, over-the-top way, it gives the world a chance to start thinking of baby names! Here are my suggestions:

  • Feyoncé. Not “Fiancée.”  I mean “Feyoncé.” It’s like Beyoncé, but with an F. 30 Rock, anyone?
  • Sasha Fierce. If Jay-Z and Beyoncé get desperate in the hospital, they can always borrow the name of Beyoncé’s alter ego. Unless Beyoncé is currently Sasha Fierce, in which case the baby will probably resemble Stewie Griffin.
  • Ruby Roman Grape. Beyoncé could take a leaf out of BFF Gwyneth Paltrow’s book and name her little girl after a fruit. However, instead of a common, everyday apple, Beyoncé’s baby will be named after the most expensive fruit in the world. (These grapes sold for $6,400!)
  • ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXY. She could be the rest of the alphabet to Jay’s Z. Try pronouncing that, America!
  • Destiny’s Child. Just calling it like it is, right?
  • NewYorkLosAngelesYachtinthemiddleoftheocean. You know those kids who are named after where they were conceived? This is my best guess (though I bet Beyoncé and Jay-Z could probably narrow it down).
  • Star. With parents like these, what else will this little girl become? Bonus points if Beyoncé and Jay-Z add “Super” in front of it.
  • Single Lady. Double duty name:  one of Beyoncé’s song titles, plus what this baby will be for the first five….minutes of her life.  What a bootylicious baby she will be—and how many would-be boyfriends she’s going to have!
  • Venus. The Roman goddess of beauty and love. Isn’t that basically all Beyoncé and Jay-Z stand for? (Not really, but work with me here.) Plus I just really like the name.

Well, no matter what they call her, this baby will probably have everything she could ever want….except a last name (to quote Jimmy Fallon).

What do you think Beyoncé should name her daughter?

Related Post: Let’s All Gossip About Beyonce

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