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Which Greek God Is Right For You?

Jazzie9328 is playing with fire. Also lightning and tidal waves. –Sparkitors

Greek Gods: if you ignore the fact that they’re manipulative, controlling, and murderously vindictive when crossed, they are totally crushable! See below to figure out which God is meant to be yours:

Apollo, God of the sun, prophecy, music, and healing: Think about it: he’s the perfect man. He can sing beautiful love songs about your upper lip while simultaneously curing cancer. What girl wouldn’t be thrilled to call Apollo their golden god?

What to watch out for: He will definitely force you to call him “my golden god,” like, every time you address him. Dude is arrogant. And he’s got a bit of a wandering eye…

Poseidon, God of the Sea: The dates with this god would be beyond cool! A ride on a dolphin’s back to a nice Italian restaurant in Atlantis, followed by a swim through the Great Barrier Reef. So romantic!

What to watch out for: If you break a date, he will very likely dump a tidal wave on your house. Also, he controls sharks. You’d have a reeeally rough time trying to dump him.

Hephaestus, God of fire, craftsmen, and blacksmiths: I’ve always had a thing for geeks, and Hephaestus is definitely the geek of the group. He’s crafty and creates super cool things, and he’ll definitely bring a spark to any relationship. Because he can literally control fire.

What to watch out for: This brooding playboy didn’t get a lot of love in his childhood, so he’s prone to mood swings and staying late at the forge.

Hades, God of the underworld: Hades is the bad boy of the group. Every girl likes to live dangerously once in a while, and nothing’s more dangerous than flirting with death. Literally.

What to watch out for: He might try to sucker you into coming back to his place for a bite to eat. Take it from Persephone—it’s bad idea.

Zeus, God of the Sky: He is a smooth-talking playa who can put on lightning shows for you whenever you’re feeling sad.

What to watch out for: He occasionally kills people with his lightning shows. He also has a tendency to shape-shift, not to mention an insanely jealous wife. Do not be taken in by Zeus’s King of the Gods ways!

What about Hermes? We always had a thing for Hermes. Which Greek god would you crush on?

Related post: A Tour of Mount Olympus

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