As you all know, SparkLife’s Honorary Supreme Dork Eddie Redmayne is the frontrunner for the role of Newt Scamander in the upcoming Harry Potter spinoff, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. And as you ALSO all know, there is literally no one we would rather see in a movie born of J.K. Rowling’s unmatched imagination. It seems too good to be true. JUST LOOK AT HIM:
SERIOUSLY, PINCH US. While you recover from the brief memory loss that gif may have caused you, let us recap: Fantastic Beasts, set to release in November of 2016, will follow the adventures of Newt Scamander in New York’s underground network of witches and wizards seventy years before Harry gets to Hogwarts. YES. THAT IS HAPPENING. The only thing that would make us happier than knowing Sir Freckles is the star of this production would be if Hershey’s came out with a peanut butter KitKat bar. But since THAT’S not gonna happen anytime soon, we’ll have to settle with the news that the the casting directors have narrowed down choices for Eddie’s female counterparts to SEVEN WONDROUS COBS OF CORN, who will fill the roles of 1. Porpentina Scamander (Newt’s love interest/presumable makeout partner, fellow Magizoologist, and later badass grandma-in-law of Luna Lovegood-Scamander), and 2. Queenie, Tina’s older sister (probably the one who’s all “a lady does not spend her days chasing Fantastic Beasts,” because we know how older sisters are when they get their robes in a twist).
Now just imagine Tina and Newt cascading through the streets of New York, chasing beasts in a fantastic manner, feeding pizza bagels to each other’s post owls… imagine AMERICAN WIZARD SCHOOL. Our red blood cells just turned into Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans thinking about it. *faints*
So, which lucky sea anemones are being considered for these coveted roles? According to The Wrap, Tina will be played by either Dakota Fanning, Saoirse Ronan (Hanna), Lili Simmons (Banshee), or Alison Sudol (Monte Carlo). In the running for Queenie’s character are Kate Upton, Katherine Waterston (Inherent Vice), and Elizabeth Debicki (The Great Gatsby). Since it’s an obvious seven-way tie in our expert opinions, we recommend that they all start downing Felix Felicis STAT so that one of them will be lucky enough to take snack breaks with Freckles McDreamy.
Who should play the female roles, Potterheads?! CAST YOUR VOTES! THE TIME IS NIGH!