SparkNotes Blog

Would You Take $200 To Stay Off Facebook?

Nothing kills productivity like social media websites, which is why it’s understandable that some parents try to limit the time their kids are online. But business savy 14-year-old Rachel Baier of Massachusetts came up with an interesting proposal. If she signs a contract agreeing to stay off Facebook for five months, her dad will give her $200.

The terms were agreed upon and her dad was handed the keys (or password) to her Facebook kingdom.

While we could sit around nitpicking this deal, showing how Rachel could find loopholes in the contract, or how she could just flat-out cheat by setting up another account, let’s say that Rachel isn’t going to wiggle her way out of the deal. Why would she? There’s a crisp $200 bill on the line.

The bigger questions is, would you take $200 to stay off Facebook for five months?

Many of you are probably screaming, “Of course,” and with good reason. First, Facebook isn’t what it once was. Remember back when Facebook was simpler? It was more enjoyable without the wonky Timeline. Giving up Facebook from 2009 would have been more difficult than giving up 2013’s Facebook.

Second, you could still use SparkNotes! This is the only website anyone ever needs…unless you’re looking for salad recipes. But do you really need the internet to look for salad recipes? Anything can be a salad. Stop worrying so much about your salad. If you really need a salad recipe, here:

Step One: Put lettuce with carrots and tomatoes.
Step Two: Don’t add wood.
Step Three: Eat.

Third, what about Twitter? Instagram? Pinterest? And most importantly…YouTube? YouTube is the king of time wasting! In the garden of procrastination, the weed that is Facebook may have been plucked, but the mighty tree that is YouTube still grows strong.

And finally, five months is a short amount a time. For $200, I could go without water for five months…inside a bear den…on fire.

But all these things show off Rachel’s genius. This was her idea, remember. She’s the one who just conned her dad out of $200. Rachel, we salute you! You are an inspiration! And you’re amazing. And we’re not just saying this because there’s a very real chance you will one day rule the entire country.