A. I immediately accept the sweet embrace of death.

B. I’m blinded by ambition, so I pretty much don’t.

C. By belatedly attempting to atone for my sins.

D. With REVENGE. And MURDER. Maybe some BAKED GOODS.

E. I retreat to the wilderness.

A. Secretly spying on the other person as they soliloquize on a balcony.

B. Murdering people for personal gain.

C. Throwing away a perfectly good baby because someone told me to.

D. Making out in a forest.

E. Attending a large banquet.

A. Fall in love.

B. Regret things.

C. Wrestle wild animals.

D. Scheme.

E. Lament the sad state of humanity.

A. Confrontation.

B. Cowardice.

C. Inconvenient storms.

D. When your illegitimate child throws a wrench in your revenge plot.

E. Fake friends.

A. They say my face is so pretty that when I die and go to heaven, it will make the world fall in love with the night.

B. They use words like "eye of newt" and "toe of frog," which is just, I don’t know, excessive? I have feelings.

C. They say that I was either born a fool or I’ve become a fool with age.

D. They say I’m a barbarous Goth.

E. They say I’m too generous with my money.

A. Wife? What wife? I’m Verona’s most eligible bachelor and I’ve never married anyone in secret, ever.

B. I mean, that’s fair.

C. Just like ALL WOMEN, AMIRIGHT? MARRIAGE IS A NIGHTMARE PRISON.

D. No she’s not.

E. Sounds about right.

A. My family.

B. My inferiors.

C. A baby.

D. The man that killed my son in a ritual sacrifice. But I was told there’d be pie, so.

E. The parasitic leeches I used to call my friends.