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You see the cutest dog you've ever spied in a pet store window. What do you do?

I play with the puppy at 110% energy until I wear myself out and take a nap. In the cage.

How much is it? Don't answer... here's a blank check. I'll take a baker's dozen.

That dog is sweet, but it might distract the public from my talent. It also doesn't match my cape.

I could put him on the wheel out back and have him produce power for weeks!

Correct!

Wrong!

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What one word describes your style?

Expensive

PINK

Silkenthropic

Tetanus

Correct!

Wrong!

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A new coffee shop just opened down the block. You...

Boycott the evil java empire and its ocean of overpriced sludge!

Ask if there's enough room in the back to mount your one-person mariachi-inspired Greek tragi-musical, Oedipus Mex.

Have your assistant's assistant drop in and buy the store.

Make sure they have hot chocolate because the last time you had coffee, you ended up in New Jersey arguing with a Build-a-Bear for five hours.

Correct!

Wrong!

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Your BFF shows up to a party wearing something that looks like it came out of the trash. What do you say?

"You look FABULOUS! Make sure you stand right next to me for the whole night."

"Oscar the Grouch cosplay? Fun!"

"Sweetie, let's get you out of that banana peel and into a floral print caftan, stat."

"Hey! What are you doing going through my closet?"

Correct!

Wrong!

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A family member comes to you in the middle of the night with an emergency. How do you help?

I will spend every cent of my considerable fortune "finessing" the rules to get them out of the pickle they're in.

Forge a fake ID, stuff them into my duffel bag, and head for the border.

Oh... I didn't know I had any family!

"Can this wait until brunch-time? I look puffy without ten hours of sleep."

Correct!

Wrong!

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Your favorite weekend activity is...

Cartwheels on the pier followed by a half dozen balloon animals.

Shopping for everything. All. Of. It.

The unveiling of your latest clothing innovation, the DaSHRIEKi: the Halloween inspired dashiki.

Following pizza rat back into the sewer to find and (hopefully) conquer his pizza rat kingdom.

Correct!

Wrong!

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You find a lead pipe in the middle of the street. What is your response?

"Pipes are for poor people who don't get their water delivered by bottle."

"That's the perfect play tube for my pet gerbil, Anne Shirley!"

"With a little bedazzling and some glitter, that pipe could be a star."

"Quick, help me hide the evidence!"

Correct!

Wrong!

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