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What kind of vibe are you after?

A little weirdness to let me escape this straight and narrow world for a while

Lots of making out with a side of funny

An explanation for where all my crazy feels come from

Correct!

Wrong!

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Are you more of a realist or an escapist?

Bolted into reality like a tourist into Aerosmith's Rock 'n' Rollercoaster

Floating literally 20 feet above the ground, currently, suspended on daydreams

Correct!

Wrong!

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Where is society most letting you down right now?

In its white-knuckled hold on entrenched gender ideals

In its Other-izing of everyone who isn't Blake Lively or Ryan Reynolds

In its inability to let people change and grow, or be multiple things at once

Correct!

Wrong!

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Which of these did you like best?

It's Kind of a Funny Story or I'll Give You the Sun

Simon and the Homo Sapien Agenda or Fangirl

My Heart Is a Black Hole or Paper Towns

Shiver or Percy Jackson

Correct!

Wrong!

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If I could commission a spinoff Harry Potter novel, it would be about...

All the dating that went on through the wizarding war

Luna Lovegood's manifesto

what drove Draco to accept his crappy fate with the wrong crowd

All the other species that are relegated to mere curiosities in the books

a hundred visits to the Pensieve

Hogwarts students (other than Harry) with prodigious magic talents

a book where Hermione doesn't marry Ron, and is instead a kickass single lady living her own life

a book that addresses all our unanswered questions about Dumbledore's inner workings

a romantic standalone about Lupin and his, uh, condition

Correct!

Wrong!

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How easy do you want this to be?

Can I read it while bobbing in a pool, please

I'll be reading it in a moody paisley teepee, so it's fine if it is a bit meaty

Correct!

Wrong!