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What’s your idea of the perfect first date?

An activity that defies gravity and/or isn’t even physically possible. Bonus points for danger.

A romantic boat ride where you have to keep worrying if he’s going to kiss you. WHAT IS HE WAITING FOR?

An intense, physical adventure. There is no Wifi, so you won’t be able to Instagram. But you’ll want to.

Doing a Tough Mudder. (He’s not going to let you win. And if you beat him, he might break up with you for a little bit.)

Volunteering at an animal shelter. He had to do it, anyway, and thought he’d bring you along.

Correct!

Wrong!

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What’s a total dealbreaker?

Not having money. SHOWER ME IN DRESSES AND JEWELS.

Always wanting to sit on the couch and eating the same take-out every night. CAN’T WE DO SOMETHING EXCITING FOR ONCE?

Being physically weak. PLEASE SWEEP ME OFF MY FEET. LITERALLY, PLEASE DO THAT.

Having zero dedication to anything. THIS IS THE THIRD TIME YOU JOINED SOCCER CLUB AND YOU’VE NEVER GONE TO A SINGLE PRACTICE.

Not caring about animals. IS THERE A HEART INSIDE THAT BIG, HUNKY BODY?

Correct!

Wrong!

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What are you two love -birds watching when you’re hanging out on the couch?

Comedy Central. White dudes making jokes about being lazy is the best!

A documentary. Probably about war.

America Ninja Warrior. You’re taking notes.

Saturday morning cartoons. WITH COOKIE CRISP CEREAL!

Political commentary. Even though it's trendy to care about the everyman, you're a bit, like, What about the poor elites?

Correct!

Wrong!

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What’s your dream pet?

A big, slobbering dog. (Not fish. If you try to keep a fish as a pet, it WILL BE IMMEDIATELY MURDERED.)

A mischievous monkey, or any tiny animal that you can dress up and can help you steal stuff.

A horse. When you ride the horse, it gallops directly into the nearest conflict, whatever that conflict might be.

A reindeer. Festive!

A horrifying chimpanzee that might rip your face off, but is wonderfully intelligent.

Correct!

Wrong!

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What do you order at dinner?

Bananas. Are there any on the children’s menu?

I'm carboloading, so the biggest bowl of noodles there is.

Wild game.

Haute cuisine.

Nothing. You attack the bread basket. All this bread is free? All you can eat? We should order some more, even though we’re not done with this basket yet.

Correct!

Wrong!

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What’s the most important quality in a boyfriend?

Leadership. He likes to take charge and will literally kill the person who cuts you in line at Chipotle.

Humor and playfulness. He isn’t taking this date thing too seriously, and he doesn’t expect you to, either.

Handsomeness. His hair always falls in his eyes in just the right way. His face is his money maker.

Charm. He makes everyone his BFF within seconds, but he might try to trick you into doing stuff he wants to do, like being in a parade.

Brawn. Forget pulling out your chair, he carries you on your dates, even when it is completely unnecessary.

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What do you want to be post-school?

A wealthy mansion-owner.

A lawyer.

An anthropologist.

A homemaker

A writer

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What’s your ideal vacation?

A joyride in a private plane.

Camping, but not the kind of camping where there are other campers around, or there is running water nearby. This is the hardcore stuff. Get your shots.

A silent retreat.

Skiing in the Alps.

A cruise.

Correct!

Wrong!

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