{"id":1380045,"date":"2017-03-10T10:00:43","date_gmt":"2017-03-10T15:00:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/community.sparknotes.com\/?p=1380045"},"modified":"2017-03-09T20:41:24","modified_gmt":"2017-03-10T01:41:24","slug":"the-9-stages-of-blargh-before-a-first-date","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"\/blog\/the-9-stages-of-blargh-before-a-first-date\/","title":{"rendered":"The 9 Stages of BLARGH Before a First Date"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone\" src=\"http:\/\/img.sparknotes.com\/content\/sparklife\/sparktalk\/StagesB_cover_LargeWide.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"701\" height=\"394\" \/><\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s finally happening. Either through sheer luck, weeks of unrelenting stalking, or ACTUAL DARK MAGIC (sorry, Dumbledore), you&#8217;ve got yourself a first date. As the wise sages we are, we have been on a combined TWO first dates, and are therefore rife with knowledge about such things. Be warned, there is a whirlwind of emotional trauma headed your way. It will be a firestorm of feelings so tumultuous that it will make Harry&#8217;s fifth year at Hogwarts look like a minor brush with teenage hormones.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s finally happening. Either through sheer luck, weeks of unrelenting stalking, or ACTUAL DARK MAGIC (sorry, Dumbledore), you&#8217;ve got yourself a first date. As the wise sages we are, we have been on a combined   <a class=\"continue-reading\" href=\"#\"><span class=\"continue-text\">continue reading<\/span><svg class=\"continue-icon\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"24\" height=\"24\" alt=\"\">\n    <path fill=\"#007acd\" fill-rule=\"nonzero\" d=\"M13.442 5.558L19.885 12l-6.443 6.442-.884-.884 4.934-4.934L4 12.625v-1.25l13.492-.001-4.934-4.932.884-.884z\"><\/path>\n  <\/svg><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":402,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[24,9],"tags":[1699,90,155,16065,20080,12277],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1380045"}],"collection":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/402"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1380045"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1380045\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1380045"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1380045"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1380045"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}