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This post was originally published on December 8, 2015, but we’re bringing it back because #finals<\/em>.<\/p>\n Meanwhile, conversations overheard in the halls of a snowy, caffeinated Hogwarts…<\/p>\n Dumbledore: A small Christmas treat as a token of my gratitude for all you’ve done for me, Severus ~<\/p>\n Cedric, finding Peeves making out with his own reflection: Bloody hell! ~<\/p>\n Ron: Professor, do you know how long the final\u2014 ~<\/p>\n Neville: In summation, I’ve theorized that Foxglove plants would be more medicinally useful if we pruned them early, as opposed to waiting like one would with the Tibetan Turnip. ~<\/p>\n Trelawney: Did you get Snape a secret santa present yet? ~<\/p>\n Harry: What’s wrong mate? ~<\/p>\n Ron: Can you square root a Mandrake ~<\/p>\n Crabbe, in the library: Do you ever think about how many owls per square kilometer there are at Hogwarts? So many owls, Goyle. Owls. So many. Do you? ~<\/p>\n Harry: Why isn’t there a vending machine in the library? I’m feeling snacky ~<\/p>\n Hermione: I might just pour this frigging jar of ink all over my Potions final ~<\/p>\n Lavender: Why is Ron walking in circles around the statue of Merlin, holding a bottle of Advil and turning squirrels into ripe avocados? ~<\/p>\n Harry: Happy Christmas, Professor! ~<\/p>\n Malfoy: You read my tealeaves for me and I’ll read yours ~<\/p>\n Ron: Will you \u00a0please<\/em> \u00a0help me with this essay, Hermione? ~<\/p>\n Drop your finals-season Hogwarts fics in the comments!<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" This post was originally published on December 8, 2015, but we’re bringing it back because #finals. Meanwhile, conversations overheard in the halls of a snowy, caffeinated Hogwarts… Dumbledore: A small Christmas treat as a token continue reading<\/span>
\nSnape: Albus. You shouldn’t have… How did you even know I was running low on crumpets? I thought we agreed not to get each other anything! I’m gonna kill you
\nDumbledore: Yeah can we talk<\/p>\n
\nPeeves: Don’t even act like you’ve never done this before
\nCedric: Yeah u right<\/p>\n
\nSnape: 10 points from Gryffindor
\nRon: Really<\/p>\n
\nFred: What?
\nGeorge: Yeah, what?<\/p>\n
\nMcGonagall: Hell to the no<\/p>\n
\nRon, looking tortured: I forgot to study an entire chapter for the Astronomy test
\nRon: Also Cormac made me eat a bubotuber and now I can’t feel my face<\/p>\n
\nHermione:<\/p>\n
\nGoyle: All the time
\nCrabbe: Really?
\nGoyle: No<\/p>\n
\nHermione: They were banned when Oliver Wood shoved a newt spleen into the coin slot<\/p>\n
\nRon: YOU WON’T
\nHarry: YOU WON’T
\nHermione: I won’t<\/p>\n
\nDean: Transfiguration final later
\nLavender: Ah.<\/p>\n
\nTrelawney: I’m vegan
\nHarry: That’s not what I\u2014
\nTrelawney: No Christmas hams for me, thank you kindly<\/p>\n
\nCho: Okay, I see a pig
\nMalfoy: You’re looking at me
\nCho:<\/p>\n
\nHermione: Nope noepnoenp neop nopeoe nep enop nope nope
\nRon: So a soft yes<\/p>\n