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The first thing you learn in Nineteenth-Century \u00a0Dueling \u00a0101 \u00a0is that when you’re challenged to a duel, the person challenged is the one who gets to pick the weapons. Most people back then \u00a0shrugged and chose a pistol.<\/p>\n
Abraham Lincoln was once challenged to a duel.<\/p>\n
Abraham Lincoln \u00a0thought duels were silly, so \u00a0he \u00a0picked a \u00a0“cavalry broadsword<\/a> of the largest size” and ordered a ten-foot \u00a0plank to be placed between the two men \u00a0under the conditions that if either man stepped over the plank, he should \u00a0be smote on the spot.<\/p>\n So, like…<\/p>\n And that is why I cannot even with Abraham Lincoln.<\/p>\n Thomas Jefferson<\/strong> and John Adams \u00a0<\/strong>once went to Shakespeare’s birthplace and cut little wood chips \u00a0out of his chairs as a souvenir.<\/p>\n The main reason I can’t even with James Madison<\/strong> is that there’s a Tumblr account<\/a> dedicated to \u00a0inventorying \u00a0his redeeming qualities, which remain unclear, tbh.<\/p>\n Andrew Jackson <\/strong>taught his parrot to curse, which had to be removed from the premises during his funeral because it wouldn’t stop cursing.<\/p>\n James Monroe \u00a0<\/strong>once chased his Secretary of State out of the White House with a pair of fire tongs.<\/p>\n William Howard Taft <\/strong>often got stuck in the White House bathtub.<\/p>\n Calvin Coolidge \u00a0<\/strong>would press all the buttons on his desk, \u00a0hide to see who would run in, and then pop out and tell everyone he was just making sure they were all working.<\/p>\n Franklin Pierce \u00a0<\/strong>was arrested during<\/em> his presidency for running a woman over with his horse.<\/p>\n Ulysses S. Grant<\/strong> \u00a0got pulled over for a speeding ticket while riding a horse too fast \u00a0in D.C.<\/p>\n I can’t even with Rutherford B. Hayes \u00a0<\/strong>because he was a \u00a0baaaaabe.<\/a> \u00a0That is all.<\/p>\n Chester A. Arthur \u00a0<\/strong>owned over 80 pairs of pants.<\/p>\n Herbert Hoover <\/strong>had two pet alligators. Two.<\/p>\n Teddy Roosevelt \u00a0<\/strong>made everyone in his family use stilts.<\/p>\n William Henry Harrison <\/strong>gave the longest ever recorded inauguration speech (1h40), got pneumonia from being outside the whole time, and died a month later. I’m sorry, but REALLY, WILLIAM HENRY HARRISON?! I can’t.<\/p>\n And for the grand finale: The “S” in Harry S. Truman<\/strong> \u00a0ISN’T EVEN SHORT FOR ANYTHING.<\/p>\n Which president can you not even deal with right now the MOST?<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The first thing you learn in Nineteenth-Century \u00a0Dueling \u00a0101 \u00a0is that when you’re challenged to a duel, the person challenged is the one who gets to pick the weapons. Most people back then \u00a0shrugged and continue reading<\/span>![\"\"](\"http:\/\/i.kinja-img.com\/gawker-media\/image\/upload\/s--5OGpYEkp--\/17zxnbp21jt0vjpg.jpg\")
image via Wikicommons\/iStock\/SparkLife<\/small><\/em><\/p>\n<\/p>\n<\/p>\n<\/p>\n