![\"\"](\"http:\/\/img.sparknotes.com\/content\/sparklife\/sparktalk\/alonenotlonelyMAIN_LargeWide.jpg\")
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Truth: \u00a0If \u00a0given the choice between eating at a restaurant alone and casually prancing into the hellscape of their nightmares, I’m going to guess 80% of society \u00a0would choose \u00a0the hellscape.<\/p>\n
The taboo on doing things all by our lonesome \u00a0makes me sad, guys. I partially \u00a0blame the outcast\/loner \u00a0character trope, but \u00a0I mostly blame the forever alone meme.<\/a> \u00a0And \u00a0that’s why I’ve taken to the keyboard today to explain \u00a0how life can be ONE THOUSAND TIMES BETTER \u00a0if you just power down \u00a0the tiny person \u00a0in your brain who \u00a0has a conniption \u00a0every time \u00a0you read \u00a0the word “alone.”<\/p>\n Don’t get me wrong\u2014hanging out with \u00a0acquaintances, partners, frenemies, etc. \u00a0= \u00a0all GREAT. But relying only \u00a0on others to make you happy \u00a0isn’t actually that great \u00a0in the long run. Because first thing’s first: The most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one you have with yourself<\/strong>, and you \u00a0actually need to \u00a0build and strengthen it \u00a0just as you would in a relationship with any other human being.<\/p>\n I’ve had a hard time finding someone who sums it up \u00a0more simply or beautifully \u00a0than Canadian poet \u00a0Rupi Kaur<\/a> \u00a0in her \u00a0first book of poetry, \u00a0Milk and Honey<\/a><\/em>:<\/p>\n fall<\/em> It’s NOT \u00a0easy to go from being anxious about doing things alone to falling in love with your solitude. <\/em>If you’re not used to it, it won’t be cake at first. \u00a0It’ll be a little weird. \u00a0But I’m tellin’ you: Spending time alone can be \u00a0one of the best things \u00a0you’ll EVER \u00a0do for yourself, besides keeping ice cream stocked in your freezer at all times. \u00a0Here’s how to \u00a0get started:<\/p>\n Step 1: Figure out what you want \u00a0to do. <\/strong>Key words: \u00a0what you want<\/em>. Because when you’re alone, you’re not forced to compromise. \u00a0Watch a \u00a0movie in bed! Listen to an entire album on full volume! Do the crossword with a strong cup of coffee, if you’re my grandpa! The key is making \u00a0the conscious decision \u00a0to dedicate a chunk of your day to doing something that makes you\u2014and only you\u2014happy.<\/p>\n Step 1.1: \u00a0<\/strong>If you want to take alone time to the next level, \u00a0go on a solitary field trip (hiiiiighly recommended). An obvious starting point is the movies, imo. What better activity \u00a0to experience \u00a0alone than sitting in a pitch-dark, oversized movie cave and escaping reality for two-plus hours? \u00a0The first time I saw a movie alone, \u00a0I lied and said I was going with friends because of society’s whole “alone = sad” thing. It was awesome, and I don’t lie about it anymore. \u00a0There’s no one there to worry about but yourself and your Raisinets.<\/p>\n Next, try heading \u00a0to \u00a0a caf\u00e9 with a book, or something to draw on, or nothing at all if you’re feeling really<\/em> adventurous, and take \u00a0your sweet, sweet time to ingest \u00a0something bready or caffeinated.<\/p>\n Another recommendation: alone time at museums! I have a friend who likes to go to them \u00a0and make anthropological observations about people looking at the art. I call it gaze-ception. Respect.<\/p>\n Step 2: Check in with yourself. \u00a0<\/strong>Whatever you end up doing by yourself, make sure you’re mindful of how you’re feeling. You’re allowed to feel anxious, but ask yourself why. Is it because you’re not used to being in public spaces by yourself? You’ll love it with practice. Remind yourself that it takes practice. Are you feeling awesome? \u00a0GREAT. Keep doing it.<\/p>\n Having no one else to worry about means you can devote \u00a0every second of this \u00a0time to \u00a0your own feelings in the name of #selfluv.<\/p>\n Step 3: Figure out that you’re cool to hang out with. \u00a0<\/strong>THAT’S RIGHT. And the moment \u00a0you start to realize that no one actually knows you better than you know yourself, you, my friend, have won the game.<\/p>\n Step 4: Repeat steps \u00a0one to three whenever you want \u00a0for the rest of eternity, for the following reasons:<\/strong><\/p>\n You’ll get to figure out who you are. \u00a0<\/em>Hear me out if you haven’t already \u00a0barfed \u00a0all over that clich\u00e9. Relationships with other people will teach you a LOT about yourself (e.g., how much patience you really have, how willing you are to compromise on which shape of pasta \u00a0to cook \u00a0for \u00a0dinner)\u2014but spending time \u00a0with yourself<\/em> \u00a0will probably teach you more. You’ll be able to figure out what you like and \u00a0don’t like without fear of judgement, expectations, standards, or someone eating all your Raisinets.<\/p>\n You’ll be more confident when you do hang out with other people. \u00a0<\/em>The more you know who you are and what you like, the more comfortable you are with yourself. Which means \u00a0you’ll be more comfortable around everyone else. \u00f0\u0178\u201d\u2018\u00f0\u0178\u201d\u2018\u00f0\u0178\u201d\u2018<\/p>\n I remember the first time I spent an entire day with myself, and it was the best day I’d had in a long time. I made coffee and french toast for breakfast, read a little bit of a book, got a haircut, and then saw a movie. That day made me feel like the lovechild of \u00a0Tom Haverford treating himself<\/a> \u00a0and \u00a0JGL in this dance sequence.<\/a><\/p>\n In the words of Rupi Kaur, again:<\/p>\n you<\/em> (Idk Rupi, you<\/em> might be my soulmate.) Really, though, the concept \u00a0of searching for \u00a0a “better half” has always kind of rubbed \u00a0me the wrong way. You are a whole person all by yourself, and being cool with hanging out alone is a huge deal. Enjoy your own company, lovely people. I promise it’ll make all the difference.<\/p>\n Do you loooove alone time? Do you avoid it like the plague? Drop your own advice in the comments!<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Truth: \u00a0If \u00a0given the choice between eating at a restaurant alone and casually prancing into the hellscape of their nightmares, I’m going to guess 80% of society \u00a0would choose \u00a0the hellscape. The taboo on doing continue reading<\/span>
\n in love<\/em>
\n with your solitude<\/em><\/p>\n![\"\"](\"http:\/\/vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net\/meme\/images\/9\/91\/4char-forever-alone-guy-high-resolution.png\/revision\/latest?cb=20110905121935\")
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\n are your own<\/em>
\n soul mate.<\/em><\/p>\n