{"id":1387897,"date":"2016-03-29T10:00:52","date_gmt":"2016-03-29T14:00:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/community.sparknotes.com\/?p=1387897"},"modified":"2016-03-29T10:20:38","modified_gmt":"2016-03-29T14:20:38","slug":"the-perks-of-being-an-only-child","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"\/blog\/the-perks-of-being-an-only-child\/","title":{"rendered":"The Perks of Being an Only Child"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"Dear Parents of Only Me,<\/em><\/p>\n

I am writing to you to let you know that I FORBID \u00a0you to <\/em>ever \u00a0have a \u00a0child that isn’t me. Under no circumstances will I allow you to reproduce ever again. (Also, ew!) Everything is currently all about me, and it better stay that way. I do not want to share my toys, my clothes, my bedroom, or the perks of being the only non-working person to benefit from your hard-earned income. I have thus far enjoyed the entirety of your attention, and expect nothing less \u00a0from [undersigned date] until I choose to reproduce late in my thirties (if that is how my life decides to go). \u00a0Thank you for being there for every single pool handstand I ever performed. Do not have any more children.<\/em><\/p>\n

With warm regards and all my selfish love,<\/em>
\n The Most Important Person in the Entire Whole Wide Universe: ME!<\/em><\/p>\n

p.s. \u00a0The only thing I would possibly consider accepting would be an identical twin.<\/em><\/p>\n

Okay, but for realzies, I am an only child, and have loved every second of it. I get personally offended when people tell parents it’s \u201cunfair\u201d to only have one child or that being the only kid in a home necessarily means a boring childhood. Granted, I grew up in the most exciting city in the universe (New York), so I didn’t an excuse \u00a0to be “bored” (it also helps that I have the world’s worst case of FOMO <\/a>that has ever been self-diagnosed), but ultimately, being an only child has truly shaped who I am and I am grateful for it. Here’s why…<\/p>\n

Only Children Are \u00a0Totally Cool with Being Alone<\/strong><\/p>\n

Having spent a good deal of time by myself in my room as a child, I am used to those moments when there’s no one around and there’s no cell-phone service, because\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 are we ever really alone anymore? I always found ways to entertain myself<\/a> from reading to playing my \u00a0Gameboy<\/a> \u00a0to \u00a0thinking about how I would booby trap my apartment if it ever got burgled, Home Alone 2<\/em> style. \u00a0I spent hours \u00a0writing, drawing, day-dreaming about Robert Pattinson*\u2014I generated hours of wholesome* entertainment, all inside my head. As a Grown, I’m not afraid to go to the bathroom without my girlfriends (I never understood the need for a chaperone) or even go out for lunch \u00a0by myself<\/a>, and I think I’m better for it.<\/p>\n

Only Children Have the Ability to Speak to Adults<\/strong><\/p>\n

Of course I did all the normal kid-things like go to school, play in the playground, and take gymnastics class, but most of my time growing up was spent around adults. This has helped me throughout my life, like, it was an easy transition from being the friend that you definitely want a playdate with \u00a0because I’m impressively polite to your \u00a0parents, to being the \u00a0girlfriend you can’t wait to introduce to your family \u00a0(any takers?) to being the student who isn’t afraid to go to my professors \u00a0during their \u00a0office hours for \u00a0help with an assignment.<\/p>\n

I also created life-long meaningful friendships from an early age with family members and teachers who I still keep in touch with today.<\/p>\n

Only Children Are Not Afraid to Ask for Things They Want<\/strong><\/p>\n

Look, I’m not gonna lie, I was definitely spoiled, and I’m very used to getting what I want. However, I give big ups to my parents who brought me up well\u2014while I’m USED to getting what I want, I certainly don’t EXPECT IT.<\/p>\n

It would never occur to me \u00a0not<\/em> \u00a0to ask \u00a0for \u00a0a spot \u00a0in someone’s comedy show, a raise at work, or my friend’s leftover french fries. Because, what do I have to lose by asking?<\/p>\n

Only Children Obviously Don’t Have Any Sibling Rivalry<\/strong><\/p>\n

I mean I’m sure the love between siblings is something I’ve missed out on and will never understand, but I’ve also seen some intense fights between my friends and their brothers and sisters, and I also saw The Good Son<\/em>, with Macauley Culkin and young Frodo Baggins<\/a>, and, *geeze*\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 that’s some scary stuff, there.<\/p>\n

Only Children LOVE Attention<\/strong><\/p>\n

I realize \u00a0that’s not supposed to be a good<\/a><\/em> thing, but a big part of my personality is having fun and being loud about it. If you want to text all day about the guy sitting across from you in biology, I AM THERE FOR YOU with an army of emojis at my disposal. In any case, \u00a0I’ve channelled that only-child energy into improv, which I \u00a0have been studying and performing for four \u00a0years now, and not only provides me with a stage and some bright lights, but has given me an amazing community of honorary sisters and brothers who aren’t horrified to see me in a flesh-colored body stocking or gerkin costume. \u00a0Who knows if I ever would have stumbled upon my second family \u00a0if I had been content with NOT having a bunch of strangers watch me and judge \u00a0my jokes?<\/p>\n

Anyway, I think there are pros and cons to being any part of the birth order, but please think twice before \u201cfeeling bad\u201d for someone who doesn’t have siblings. So far, it’s been pretty good!<\/p>\n

*mmm-hmmm<\/a><\/p>\n

If you want a DIFFERENT perspective on being an only child, head over to Ashley’s post<\/a>! Does it rule? Yay or nay?<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Parents of Only Me, I am writing to you to let you know that I FORBID \u00a0you to ever \u00a0have a \u00a0child that isn’t me. Under no circumstances will I allow you to reproduce continue reading<\/span>\n <\/path>\n <\/svg><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":346,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[9],"tags":[20972,21749],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1387897"}],"collection":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/346"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1387897"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1387897\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1387897"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1387897"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1387897"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}