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Never judge a book by its title, because more often than not, the title is a lie. You won’t know what you’re getting into until you’re elbows-deep in a story you didn’t sign up for and it’s too late to turn back. Maybe this doesn’t ring true for you. Maybe you trust no one and take nothing at face value. But for the rest of us dewy-eyed newborns, these books should probably come with a warning printed on the cover:<\/p>\n
David Copperfield<\/em> \u00a0by Charles Dickens<\/strong> The Scarlet Letter<\/em> \u00a0by Nathaniel Hawthorne<\/strong> Of Mice and Men<\/em> \u00a0by John Steinbeck<\/strong> Watership Down<\/em> \u00a0by Richard Adams<\/strong> Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead<\/em> \u00a0by Tom Stoppard<\/strong> The Book Thief<\/em> \u00a0by Markus Zusak<\/strong> The Jungle<\/em> \u00a0by Upton Sinclair Wuthering Heights<\/em> \u00a0by Emily Bront\u00c3\u00ab Looking for Alaska<\/em> \u00a0by John Green<\/strong> Beloved<\/em> \u00a0by Toni Morrison<\/strong> Any other books you think need disclaimers?<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Never judge a book by its title, because more often than not, the title is a lie. You won’t know what you’re getting into until you’re elbows-deep in a story you didn’t sign up for continue reading<\/span>
\nDISCLAIMER: This book is not about magicians. No one pulls a rabbit out of a hat. No one makes anyone disappear. No one gets even a little bit sawed in half. If you are slogging through this 600-page whopper of a novel hoping for magic and fun times, the Dickens estate is not responsible for your inevitable disappointment.<\/p>\n
\nDISCLAIMER: This story does not contain Howlers.<\/p>\n
\nDISCLAIMER: Mostly about men. If there were a version of the Bechdel test for mice, this book would not pass it. If you are a mouse concerned with the lack of mice representation in the media, consider reading the \u00a0Redwall<\/i> \u00a0series instead.<\/p>\n
\nDISCLAIMER: This is not about the Titanic. Please temper your expectations. There are, however, more than enough talking animals to make up for the lack thereof in \u00a0Of Mice and Men.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nDISCLAIMER: The publishers are not responsible for any spoilers contained in the title.<\/p>\n
\nDISCLAIMER: Don’t steal this book. That is a crime.<\/p>\n
\n<\/strong>DISCLAIMER: \u00a0The Jungle<\/em> \u00a0book and \u00a0The Jungle Book<\/em> \u00a0are not the same thing. If you pick up this nightmare tome under the impression that you’ll be reading about a little boy’s adventures with his animal friends, the publisher is not responsible if you’re never able to eat a hotdog again.<\/p>\n
\n<\/strong>DISCLAIMER: Contains depictions of a manipulative relationship masquerading as a romance for the ages. Do not try this at home.<\/p>\n
\nDISCLAIMER: If you are actually looking for the state of Alaska, you should buy an atlas and not this book. Alaska is right where it’s always been and will likely remain there for the foreseeable future.<\/p>\n
\nDISCLAIMER: You’re not ready for this book. You have never been ready, nor will you be. You don’t have the vigor, the mental fortitude, the moxie. Handle with care. Contents may destroy you emotionally.<\/p>\n