{"id":1390995,"date":"2016-07-14T10:00:56","date_gmt":"2016-07-14T14:00:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/community.sparknotes.com\/?p=1390995"},"modified":"2016-07-08T10:29:44","modified_gmt":"2016-07-08T14:29:44","slug":"what-to-do-with-your-life-if-you-still-dont-have-a-clue","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"\/blog\/what-to-do-with-your-life-if-you-still-dont-have-a-clue\/","title":{"rendered":"What to Do With Your Life If You Still Don’t Have a Clue"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"Does it seem like everyone and his grandmother wants to know what you’re doing with your life? I’ll bet it does. As you get older, that’s just something that happens. But what those people fail to realize is that when it comes to planning for the future, we’re all just kids at a birthday party blindly pinning the tail on the donkey of our careers. Luckily for you, maybe I can help you narrow it down to one particular donkey. I’m getting lost in this analogy. Just read \u00a0on. These are 100% real suggestions.<\/p>\n

Professional Fan-fiction Writer<\/strong><\/p>\n

Did you neglect that 42-chapter Dramione fic because of pesky things like school? Dust it off! Right now! Look at the inexplicable \u00a0success of books like 50 Shades of Grey,<\/em> or the sheer number of \u00a0Sherlock Holmes adaptations \u00a0that are on the market as we speak. Even established writers like Anthony Horowitz are bringing their fanboy A-game \u00a0to the table \u00a0with \u00a0pieces like Moriarty. <\/em>And he’s not the only one: \u00a0Jodi Lynn Anderson gave us a new look at Peter Pan with \u00a0Tiger Lily<\/a>, \u00a0<\/em>and Malinda Lo wrote \u00a0a lesbian retelling of Cinderella<\/a>. Go out there, make your OTP \u00a0happen, and earn \u00a0money doing it!<\/p>\n

Religious Leader<\/strong><\/p>\n

What is a religion, anyway? Just a bunch of people that like a thing. If you’re good with people (is that even real? I digress), then use those unfathomable \u00a0skills of yours and start a religion! Be it a super-secret cult of hot chocolate connoisseurs or a fan club of Chris Evans’s bubble butt (you’re welcome<\/a>), you’re guaranteed to find someone who shares your passion. Charge entry fees and membership and soon you’ll be well on your way to becoming the next big thing.<\/p>\n

The New Obama<\/strong><\/p>\n

Obama will soon be stepping down from his (presumably) super comfy chair at the White House. Whether you’re leaning towards Hillary or thinking about backing Donald, there’s no denying \u00a0that Obama’s not \u00a0like a regular president, he’s a cool president. What’s gonna happen to America after he’s gone? We’ve had a president who wields a mean selfie stick<\/a>; we can’t go back to the way things were. Who will fill the void? It could \u00a0be you! Put on your shades, practice that poker face in the \u00a0mirror, and you’ll be one never-ending \u00a0election cycle away \u00a0from tackling the most important issue of our time: too-loud commercial breaks<\/a>. Well, one of the most important issues, anyway.<\/p>\n

Cat Sitter<\/strong><\/p>\n

If your procrastination routine doesn’t involve \u00a0looking at cat videos, you’re either lying or not human. The amount of times I considered throwing away my degree and just becoming a full-time cat filmmaker is higher than I care to confess openly, but now that I’ve finished school, what’s stopping me? What’s stopping you<\/em>? If you were ever a babysitter, you’ve probably dealt with \u00a0your share of annoying kids, but cats? Cats are a different story. Cats \u00a0don’t scream their head off and stick Legos up their nose. In addition to getting paid, you’ll be getting free cuddles, laughs, and YouTube followers. Will you go down in cinematic history as the next Pedro Almodovar? I mean, no. You’re making cat videos. Keep your eyes on the prize, Spielberg.<\/p>\n

Disney Princess<\/strong><\/p>\n

Have you ever caught yourself sighing wistfully \u00a0at the end of a Disney film, wishing you could be one of the princesses? Well, now you can! \u00a0They’re pretty strict at Disneyland in case you wanted to audition for Snow White or Ursula (whatever floats your boat!), but in this day and age, with the power of make-up, sewing machines, and Instagram, the world is your oyster. It doesn’t matter if you’re a mom<\/a>, wear a hijab<\/a>, or even if you’re a guy<\/a>. Want to be a Disney princess? \u00a0Go be a Disney princess!<\/p>\n

The Next Internet Phenomenon<\/strong><\/p>\n

How many social apps do you have \u00a0on your phone? I’m guessing a lot. With new ones popping up every five minutes, the number of ways you could become famous increases accordingly. Apparently all you have to do nowadays \u00a0is slap on \u00a0a Chewbacca mask<\/a> \u00a0or have deep Snapchat thoughts about potatoes<\/a> \u00a0and let the \u00a0rest take care of itself. \u00a0If you have perseverance, an outgoing attitude, and good eyebrows, you’ll be making the morning show circuit \u00a0in no time.<\/p>\n

Cultural Consultant<\/strong><\/p>\n

This is one \u00a0of those cool jobs you always kind of wished you had, especially if you come from a non-English background and have a real passion for details (hi, I’m Kal). It’s nice being privy to certain nuances \u00a0when \u00a0you come from the culture being depicted onscreen, and working as \u00a0a culture consultant gives you the chance \u00a0to \u00a0be a smartass about it. \u00a0I have no knowledge of how much money someone got paid to write the Polish dialogue in the recent X-Men: Apocalypse<\/em> film, but I do know a) \u00a0how terrible it was and b) how much money they could have saved by letting me do it for a lock of James McAvoy’s hair.<\/p>\n

Fortune Cookie Writer<\/strong><\/p>\n

Have you ever felt like you’ve been burdened with \u00a0the wisdom of the ages? Do \u00a0all your friends come \u00a0to you for advice? Is your favorite movie The Fountain<\/em>? Then you may very well have a talent for \u00a0predicting \u00a0the future \u00a0and putting it in cookies. Lift someone’s spirit! Take someone down a peg! Tell that shy guy to finally ask out the \u00a0girl he likes! End a family feud! Just be careful\u2014with great cookie power comes great responsibility, and \u00a0that’s definitely the quote. Don’t @ me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Does it seem like everyone and his grandmother wants to know what you’re doing with your life? I’ll bet it does. As you get older, that’s just something that happens. But what those people fail continue reading<\/span>\n <\/path>\n <\/svg><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":434,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[9],"tags":[22503,2036],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1390995"}],"collection":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/434"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1390995"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1390995\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1390995"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1390995"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1390995"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}