{"id":1391943,"date":"2016-07-29T14:00:11","date_gmt":"2016-07-29T18:00:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/community.sparknotes.com\/?p=1391943"},"modified":"2016-07-28T12:38:31","modified_gmt":"2016-07-28T16:38:31","slug":"how-to-figure-out-someone-elses-hogwarts-house","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"\/blog\/how-to-figure-out-someone-elses-hogwarts-house\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Figure Out Someone Else’s Hogwarts House"},"content":{"rendered":"

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If you’re like everyone else on this planet, then you probably already know which Hogwarts House you’d belong to in the wizarding world, and you’ve accessorized accordingly. But not everyone sports a Gryffindor scarf day in and day out. (A shock, I know. Take a minute.) So how are you supposed to spot Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws, Gryffindors, and Slytherins in the wild?<\/p>\n

With this handy guide, of course! It’s here to help you recognize members of each house in five situations that I’m told involve other people.<\/p>\n

The houses at a yard sale<\/b><\/p>\n

Ravenclaw<\/span><\/strong>: 25 cents would be a STEAL if these textbooks weren’t so out of date. Whatever. I’ll take them all.
\nHufflepuff<\/span><\/strong>: I’m buying a scented candle for everyone I know, and then some. Just in case there’s someone I’m forgetting.
\nSlytherin<\/span><\/strong>: This antique cup would make a great Horcrux\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 if it weren’t Muggle-made.
\nGryffindor<\/span><\/strong>: What a score! Look at all these old journals I found, and books that come with annotations! There’s no way this could go horribly wrong!<\/p>\n

The houses at a barbecue<\/b><\/p>\n

Ravenclaw<\/span><\/strong>: That potato salad has been sitting in the sun for three hours. It is a mayo-based \u00a0 vessel of death or at least food poisoning, and I’m not touching it.
\nHufflepuff<\/span><\/strong>: No, you<\/i> should have the last hotdog. I’ll even grill it for you.
\nSlytherin<\/span><\/strong>: Either the Dark Lord is summoning me, or I just forgot to put sunscreen on my forearm.
\nGryffindor<\/span><\/strong>: I’m no hero\u2014I just do the things other people won’t. I’m going to bow my head, grit my teeth, and eat that potato salad.<\/p>\n

The houses at a movie theater<\/b><\/p>\n

Ravenclaw<\/span><\/strong>: None of these options seem cerebral<\/i> enough, you know? Who wants to go home and watch a nine-part documentary on the Civil War?
\nHufflepuff<\/span><\/strong>: You want to go splitskies on a large popcorn? I’m buying.
\nSlytherin<\/span><\/strong>: I’m going to the bathroom, and if a single Milk Dud is missing when I return, you’re dead to me.
\nGryffindor<\/span><\/strong>: If there were no exploding cars, was it really even a Michael Bay movie? What was the point<\/i>?<\/p>\n

The houses at a swimming pool<\/b><\/p>\n

Ravenclaw<\/span><\/strong>: What a perfect place to stretch out on a towel and read and go nowhere near the water.
\nHufflepuff<\/span><\/strong>: I thought someone should let you know that your suit is riding up in the back. Also, do you need sunscreen? Goggles? Extra flip flops? I’ve got you covered.
\nSlytherin<\/span><\/strong>: What a perfect place to splash someone who’s reading on a towel.
\nGryffindor<\/span><\/strong>: Who’s up for a game of pool noodle Quidditch?<\/p>\n

The houses at a state fair<\/b><\/p>\n

Ravenclaw<\/span><\/strong>: Don’t bother with the guy who guesses people’s ages and weights. It’s quite simple, really. Here’s the trick\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6
\nHufflepuff<\/span><\/strong>: Who wants to get matching airbrush tattoos? Anyone?
\nSlytherin<\/span><\/strong>: I have a basilisk I’d like to enter in the livestock division, I hope that’s cool.
\nGryffindor<\/span><\/strong>: Please direct me to your most terrifying ride. Don’t pull any punches. I crave fear.<\/p>\n