{"id":1392659,"date":"2016-09-02T15:37:47","date_gmt":"2016-09-02T19:37:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/community.sparknotes.com\/?p=1392659"},"modified":"2022-05-23T11:45:32","modified_gmt":"2022-05-23T15:45:32","slug":"the-only-guide-you-need-to-survive-the-first-day-of-school","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"\/blog\/the-only-guide-you-need-to-survive-the-first-day-of-school\/","title":{"rendered":"The Only Guide You Need to Survive the First Day of School"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" width=\"701\" height=\"394\" src=\"\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/katebts2016main_LargeWide.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-1449408\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Unless your first name is Granger and your last name is \u00a0Danger, odds are that you&#8217;re not super excited to head back to school. The first day can be a bit like the  \u00a0Hunger Games, in that \u00a0you&#8217;re terrified, \u00a0your abrasive \u00a0mentor has zero advice \u00a0to offer, \u00a0everyone hates you, you \u00a0look gourddamn ridiculous, and you&#8217;re stuck in a giant arena, \u00a0competing against your fellow youths \u00a0in a government-mandated death match.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>JK! &nbsp;You don&#8217;t have a mentor. But the other stuff, sadly, will come to pass.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Double-JK! Everything is going to be ABSOLUTELY FINE, and we know this because the Sparkitors have survived a combined total of 128 first days of school (and that&#8217;s not even taking into consideration all the times that Elodie had to repeat 10th grade). But don&#8217;t take our word for it\u2014take our word PLUS&nbsp;Kate Allan&#8217;s phenomenal illos, which we&#8217;ve combined into this&nbsp;slideshow to help quell your low-level nerves and\/or your full-scale panic attacks. Click through, calm down, and when you wake up on that fateful morning, be sure to thrust your first skyward and shout, \u201cFirst day, PREPARE TO MEET YOUR MAKER!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And then \u00a0run like the wind, because you actually ARE in \u00a0the Hunger Games. Sorry we lied. Now go do us proud.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Unless your first name is Granger and your last name is \u00a0Danger, odds are that you&#8217;re not super excited to head back to school. The first day can be a bit like the \u00a0Hunger Games,   <a class=\"continue-reading\" href=\"#\"><span class=\"continue-text\">continue reading<\/span><svg class=\"continue-icon\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"24\" height=\"24\" alt=\"\">\n    <path fill=\"#007acd\" fill-rule=\"nonzero\" d=\"M13.442 5.558L19.885 12l-6.443 6.442-.884-.884 4.934-4.934L4 12.625v-1.25l13.492-.001-4.934-4.932.884-.884z\"><\/path>\n  <\/svg><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":368,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[9],"tags":[1699,22900,22901,2958,17319,22902,8348,4834],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1392659"}],"collection":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/368"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1392659"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1392659\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1449409,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1392659\/revisions\/1449409"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1392659"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1392659"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1392659"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}