{"id":1393456,"date":"2020-06-25T10:00:47","date_gmt":"2020-06-25T14:00:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/community.sparknotes.com\/?p=1393456"},"modified":"2020-06-24T16:30:31","modified_gmt":"2020-06-24T20:30:31","slug":"literary-relationship-statuses-they-should-definitely-have-on-facebook","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"\/blog\/literary-relationship-statuses-they-should-definitely-have-on-facebook\/","title":{"rendered":"Literary Relationship Statuses They Should Definitely Have On Facebook"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Only a handful of people are actually \u201cin a relationship.\u201d The rest of us are stuck with \u201cit’s complicated,\u201d \u201cfriends with benefits,\u201d or \u201csingle and destined to remain so in perpetuity.\u201d And things are even more confusing when you’re fictional. You could be \u201cin a relationship,\u201d of course, but you could also be \u201cin a love triangle with a vampire and a different, more dangerous vampire,” and Facebook just isn’t set up to accommodate those nuances. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since there are so many ways to be in and out of a relationship when you’re a character in a book, we thought we’d try our hand at coming up with some new Facebook statuses of the literary variety.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Relationship status:<\/strong> Single man, in possession of a large fortune, in want of of a wife<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Relationship status:<\/strong> Obsessed with a married woman who symbolizes the impossible nature of the American Dream<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Relationship status:<\/strong> Trapped on a desert island with a sea witch<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Relationship status:<\/strong> Inexplicably drawn to a masked man who committed murder to further my singing career<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Relationship status:<\/strong> Spending six months out of every year in the Underworld<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Relationship status:<\/strong> In a marriage of convenience for financial stability<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Relationship status:<\/strong> Half-agony, half-hope<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Relationship status:<\/strong> Accidentally killed my dad and married my mom to avoid a prophecy about killing my dad and marrying my mom<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Relationship status:<\/strong> Dying young due to a mysterious illness in order further my significant other’s character development<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Relationship status:<\/strong> A lifelong spinster<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Relationship status:<\/strong> Exchanging witty banter with someone I claim to despise but am actually about to fall in love with<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Relationship status:<\/strong> Friends with benefits (the benefits being a political alliance between Egypt and the Republic of Rome)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Relationship status:<\/strong> In love with the idea of love<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Relationship status:<\/strong> Taking a chaperoned promenade through the gardens with a handsome suitor who may soon request the honor of my hand in marriage<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Relationship status:<\/strong> Haunting my spouse’s new lover from beyond the grave<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Relationship status:<\/strong> Living out the rest of my days wearing a tattered old wedding dress in my crumbling Gothic manor because I was left at the altar<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Relationship status:<\/strong> Writing love letters to my soul mate on someone else’s behalf<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Relationship status:<\/strong> My mistress is the Republic<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Relationship status:<\/strong> Currently enemies, soon to be lovers<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Relationship status:<\/strong> If I can’t have him, nobody can, and also I’m going to accuse this whole town of witchcraft<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Relationship status:<\/strong> Chaste hero with a quest to complete<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Relationship status:<\/strong> Fully willing to die for someone I just met five minutes ago<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Relationship status:<\/strong> Painting a cursed portrait for the man I love that will grant him eternal youth at the expense of his soul<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Relationship status:<\/strong> It’s complicated because he’s married and he keeps his mad wife locked in the attic<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Relationship status:<\/strong> Walking hand-in-hand through the English countryside with my lover as ghosts once the two of us are finally joined in death<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Only a handful of people are actually \u201cin a relationship.\u201d The rest of us are stuck with \u201cit’s complicated,\u201d \u201cfriends with benefits,\u201d or \u201csingle and destined to remain so in perpetuity.\u201d And things are even more continue reading<\/span>\n <\/path>\n <\/svg><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":182,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[7],"tags":[628,2335,5161,25017,248,694],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1393456"}],"collection":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/182"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1393456"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1393456\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1444211,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1393456\/revisions\/1444211"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1393456"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1393456"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1393456"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}