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If you’re anything like me, your idea of “flirting” involves both parties making eye contact for far too long and then simultaneously barfing out the romance words. For your sake, I hope you’re not like me. The world doesn’t need more of us. I hope your flirting technique is suave, courtly, and eloquent to the point that it’s borderline Shakespearean. For instance:<\/p>\n
When you’re trying to be a bad boy:<\/strong> When you’re playing hard to get:<\/strong> When you’re REALLY playing hard to get:<\/strong> When you want to flirt but you’re confused by fractions:<\/strong> When you’re listing off your many admirable qualities, chief among them that you are a patient log-man:<\/strong> When you ask them out on a date and you can’t believe they said yes:<\/strong> When you have a crush on a girl and she asks you how much you like her, and you tell her you wouldn’t sell her:<\/strong> When you’re being extremely forward:<\/strong> When you have a crush on your best friend but you don’t want to be obvious about it, so instead you tell them they have an ugly face:<\/strong> When you want to tell someone \u00a0that you like them, but not in a normal way:<\/strong> When you want to emphasize how much you miss her when she’s gone, so you tell her that \u00a0leaving her is as terrible as going to school:<\/strong> When you’re not that good at making out, but you’re trying to put a positive spin on it:<\/strong> When you can’t think of a good compliment so you settle for telling them that their face looks like honor, truth, and loyalty:<\/strong> When you want to make your affections known but you don’t want to sound TOO eager:<\/strong> If you’re anything like me, your idea of “flirting” involves both parties making eye contact for far too long and then simultaneously barfing out the romance words. For your sake, I hope you’re not like continue reading<\/span>
\n“And, I pray thee now, tell me, for which of my bad parts did thou first fall in love with me?”
\n\u2014Much Ado About Nothing<\/em>, Act 6, Scene 2<\/p>\n
\n“I pray you, do not fall in love with me, for I am falser than vows made in wine.\u201d
\n\u2014As You Like It<\/em>, Act 3, Scene 5<\/p>\n
\n“Thou art a flesh-monger, a fool and a coward.”
\n\u2014Measure for Measure<\/em>, Act 5, Scene 1<\/p>\n
\n“One half of me is yours, the other half yours.”
\n\u2014The Merchant of Venice<\/em>, Act 3, Scene 2<\/p>\n
\n“And for your sake am I this patient log-man.”
\n\u2014The Tempest<\/em>, Act 3, Scene 1<\/p>\n
\n“But I am pigeon-liver’d and lack gall.”
\n\u2014Hamlet<\/em>, Act 2, Scene 2<\/p>\n
\n“If heaven would make me such another world of one entire and perfect chrysolite, \u00a0I’ld not have sold [you] for it.”
\n\u2014Othello<\/em>, Act 5, Scene 2<\/p>\n
\n“I have immortal longings in me.”
\n\u2014Antony and Cleopatra<\/em>, Act 5, Scene 2<\/p>\n
\n“Where wilt thou find a cavern dark enough to mask thy monstrous visage?”
\n\u2014Julius Caesar<\/em>, Act 2, Scene 1<\/p>\n
\n“Through proof of harness to my heart, and there ride on the pants triumphing!”
\n\u2014Antony and Cleopatra<\/em>, Act 4, Scene 8<\/p>\n
\n“Love goes toward love as schoolboys from their books,
\nBut love from love, toward school with heavy looks.”
\n\u2014Romeo and Juliet<\/em>, Act 2, Scene 2<\/p>\n
\n“My love’s more richer than my tongue.”
\n\u2014King Lear<\/em>, Act 1, Scene 1<\/p>\n
\n“In thy face I see the map of honor, truth and loyalty.”
\n\u2014Henry VI Part 2<\/em>, Act 3, Scene 1<\/p>\n
\n“‘I hate’ from hate away she threw,
\nAnd saved my life, saying\u2014’not you.'”
\n\u2014Sonnet 145, lines 13-14<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"