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I am an adult, technically, but I don’t know how to compromise, iron my pants, or do my taxes\u2014 usually I just staple a bunch of papers together, put them in an envelope, and throw it into the sea.<\/p>\n
I’m sure William Shakespeare knew all the ins and outs of adulthood. He was an adult, after all. He lived to the ripe old age of 52 before dying of a disease known as “probably typhus,” and I’m betting somewhere in there he was doing grown-up things like eating kale or using coupons. Who better to answer our questions than he?<\/p>\n
When you realize you’re an adult and there’s nothing to stop you from eating an entire cake in one sitting:<\/strong> When you’re doing a job interview \u00a0and they ask why you want to work there:<\/strong> When you’re avoiding your problems:<\/strong> When they’re handing out free samples at the grocery store:<\/strong> When you’re asking a friend to help you move:<\/strong> When the teenagers next-door are throwing a wild party, but it’s 10:30 PM and you want to go to bed:<\/strong> How to accept a compliment like a grown-up:<\/strong> How to remove toxic people from your life:<\/strong> How to describe the noises your car is making to the mechanic:<\/strong> What to say when you’re trying to make casual conversation at a work party:<\/strong> When you’re applying for jobs and your r\u00e9sum\u00e9 is looking a little scarce:<\/strong> When your neighbor keeps parking their car in front of your driveway even though you explicitly asked them not to:<\/strong> What to say when people tell you to invest your money so you can “watch it grow”:<\/strong> When you’re not sure how to remove stains \u00a0so you just shout at the carpet:<\/strong> When your car won’t start but you can’t afford to fix it so you just turn the key in the ignition and pray:<\/strong> When you realize time is a construct, and you can eat whatever you want literally whenever you want:<\/strong> When you start paying for your own Netflix account so you can watch your dumb guilty pleasure shows in secret:<\/strong> When you realize you’re not as much of an adult as you thought you were:<\/strong> Want more Shakespeare out of context? Check out \u00a0How to Flirt<\/a>, How to Kiss<\/a>, and What Going Back to School is Like<\/a>… all according to Shakespeare.<\/em><\/p>\n This post was originally published in November 2016<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I am an adult, technically, but I don’t know how to compromise, iron my pants, or do my taxes\u2014 usually I just staple a bunch of papers together, put them in an envelope, and throw continue reading<\/span>
\n“The devil hath power t’ assume a pleasing shape.”
\n\u2014Hamlet<\/em>, Act 2, Scene 2<\/p>\n
\n“‘Tis not unknown to you, madam, I am a poor fellow.”
\n\u2014All’s Well That Ends Well<\/em>, Act 1, Scene 3<\/p>\n
\n“Oh, that way madness lies; let me shun that.”
\n\u2014King Lear<\/em>, Act 3, Scene 4<\/p>\n
\n“I almost die for food, and let me have it.”
\n\u2014As You Like It<\/em>, Act 2, Scene 7<\/p>\n
\n“Give me some help here, ho!”
\n\u2014All’s Well \u00a0That Ends Well<\/em>, Act 2, Scene 1<\/p>\n
\n“Alack, what noise is this?”
\n\u2014Hamlet<\/em>, Act 4, Scene 5<\/p>\n
\n“I thank ye; and be blest for your good comfort! [Exit<\/em>.]”
\n\u2014As You Like It<\/em>, Act 2, Scene 7<\/p>\n
\n“I scorn you, scurvy companion.”
\n\u2014Henry IV, Part 2<\/em>, Act 2, Scene 4<\/p>\n
\n“Hear the shrill whistle which doth order give to sounds confused.”
\n\u2014Henry V<\/em>, Act 3, \u00a0Prologue<\/p>\n
\n“What seest thou else in the dark backward and abysm of time?”
\n\u2014The Tempest<\/em>, Act 1, \u00a0Scene 2<\/p>\n
\n“Assume a virtue, if you have it not.”
\n\u2014Hamlet<\/em>, Act 3, \u00a0Scene 4<\/p>\n
\n“Cry ‘Havoc’ and let slip the dogs of war.”
\n\u2014Julius Caesar<\/em>, Act 3, \u00a0Scene 1<\/p>\n
\n“Nothing will come of nothing.”
\n\u2014King Lear<\/em>, Act 1, \u00a0Scene 1<\/p>\n
\n“Out, damned spot! out, I say!”
\n\u2014Macbeth<\/em>, Act 5, \u00a0Scene 1<\/p>\n
\n“This is the third time; I hope good luck lies in odd numbers…”
\n\u2014The Merry Wives of Windsor<\/em>, Act 5, \u00a0Scene 1<\/p>\n
\n“We’ll go to supper i’ th’ morning.”
\n\u2014King Lear<\/em>, Act 3, \u00a0Scene 6<\/p>\n
\n“Let not light see my black and deep desires.”
\n\u2014Macbeth<\/em>, Act 1, \u00a0Scene 4<\/p>\n
\n“We have some salt of our youth in us.”
\n\u2014The Merry Wives of Windsor<\/em>, Act 2, \u00a0Scene 3<\/p>\n