{"id":1394792,"date":"2016-11-22T10:00:16","date_gmt":"2016-11-22T15:00:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/community.sparknotes.com\/?p=1394792"},"modified":"2016-11-22T10:03:54","modified_gmt":"2016-11-22T15:03:54","slug":"the-characters-from-fantastic-beasts-and-where-to-find-them-ranked-in-order-of-hair","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"\/blog\/the-characters-from-fantastic-beasts-and-where-to-find-them-ranked-in-order-of-hair\/","title":{"rendered":"The Characters from Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them<\/em>, Ranked in Order of Hair"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

I’m not saying I have my priorities completely in order; I \u00a0am<\/em> saying my enjoyment of a movie depends largely, if not solely, on how good everyone’s hair is looking. This is why any movie with Emma Stone in it is the best movie I’ve ever seen, and this is \u00a0why Taylor Lautner’s center part in \u00a0Twilight<\/em> \u00a0was almost what killed me.<\/p>\n

I recently saw \u00a0Fantastic Beasts and \u00a0Where to Find Them,<\/em> \u00a0and I went in there with with two objectives:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. To determine whether this is a movie people should see<\/a><\/li>\n
  2. To judge everyone’s hair based on arbitrary criteria such as “it’s got a lot of poof”<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    And I am delighted to report that I have succeeded on both \u00a0fronts. \u00a0Please check your mindfulness at the door, and let’s \u00a0talk about hair, including whatever the hell was happening with Ezra Miller’s.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    I’m not saying I have my priorities completely in order; I \u00a0am saying my enjoyment of a movie depends largely, if not solely, on how good everyone’s hair is looking. This is why any movie continue reading<\/span>\n <\/path>\n <\/svg><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":182,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[9],"tags":[8313,14808,23238,10184,32],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1394792"}],"collection":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/182"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1394792"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1394792\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1394792"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1394792"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1394792"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}