{"id":1395215,"date":"2016-12-21T11:00:38","date_gmt":"2016-12-21T16:00:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/community.sparknotes.com\/?p=1395215"},"modified":"2016-12-21T08:56:44","modified_gmt":"2016-12-21T13:56:44","slug":"25-gift-ideas-for-people-you-hate","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"\/blog\/25-gift-ideas-for-people-you-hate\/","title":{"rendered":"25 Gift Ideas for People You Hate"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

It’s the season of giving, but the reality of the situation is that some people are deeply annoying and don’t deserve a new iPhone so much as they deserve twenty pounds of actual \u00a0garbage. Most unfortunately, \u00a0you can’t really<\/i> give someone twenty pounds of garbage (not with that attitude, anyway), but here are twenty-five things you can gift them instead:<\/p>\n

1. A jigsaw puzzle with one piece missing<\/p>\n

2. Jeans that are two sizes too small<\/p>\n

3. Dental floss<\/p>\n

4. The gift of friendship<\/p>\n

5. A two-dollar gift card to Chipotle (just enough for chips, not enough for chips with guac)<\/p>\n

6. A coupon for ten free high-fives<\/p>\n

7. A coupon for immortality<\/p>\n

8. A 2016 calendar<\/p>\n

9. Your best impression of Jeff Goldblum<\/p>\n

10. A box full of farts<\/p>\n

11. A coloring book that’s already colored in<\/p>\n

12. Anti-aging wrinkle cream as a subtle reminder that death is coming<\/p>\n

13. Battery-operated socks<\/p>\n

14. Math flashcards<\/p>\n

15. Anything you have to take care of, like a goldfish or a plant, because then not only are you giving them a bad \u00a0present but you are also foisting an obligation on their unsuspecting person<\/p>\n

16. A Christmas sweater you made yourself (and by “made” of course \u00a0I \u00a0mean “just stuck googly eyes to”)<\/p>\n

17. \u00a0Stamps<\/p>\n

18. Winter boots, but like really terrible winter boots (think knock-off Uggs) so that their socks will be perpetually wet<\/p>\n

19. A toilet seat<\/p>\n

20. A card that barfs out glitter and confetti<\/p>\n

21. A homemade board game where all the game pieces are just chewed-up wads of gum stuck to nickels<\/p>\n

22. A stapler with no staples<\/p>\n

23. An abacus<\/p>\n

24. A mixtape that’s just “What’s New Pussycat” eleven times \u00a0broken up by a single “It’s Not Unusual”<\/p>\n

25. Twenty pounds of garbage. Just do it. Who cares?<\/p>\n

What’s the worst present you’ve ever received?<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s the season of giving, but the reality of the situation is that some people are deeply annoying and don’t deserve a new iPhone so much as they deserve twenty pounds of actual \u00a0garbage. Most continue reading<\/span>\n <\/path>\n <\/svg><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":182,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[9],"tags":[23378,5161,8833,1140],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1395215"}],"collection":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/182"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1395215"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1395215\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1395215"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1395215"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1395215"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}