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When it comes to books, there is a Point A and a Point B, and then a bunch of stuff that happens in the middle. Writers are generally pretty good about including that middle bit\u2014explaining, over the course of many chapters, how Point A led to Point B, how tensions slowly but surely escalated so that the climax seems both believable and inevitable\u2014but I think we can all agree life would be far funnier if they weren’t.<\/p>\n
Here, for your amusement and mine, is what a bunch of books would look like stripped of all context, background, and rising action.<\/p>\n
The Great Gatsby<\/em>, chapter 3:<\/b> Gatsby throws a party Lord of the Flies<\/em>, chapter 2:<\/b> Jack is mean to Ralph A Separate Peace<\/em>, chapter 1:<\/b> Gene and Finny are having a fun time down by the river The Adventures of Tom Sawyer<\/em>, chapter 1:<\/b> Tom outsmarts his Aunt Polly Macbeth<\/em>, Act 1:<\/b> Macbeth gets a promotion Romeo and Juliet<\/em>, Act 1: <\/b>Juliet hasn’t given much thought to marriage Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone<\/em>, chapter 2:<\/b> Harry never gets any birthday presents Hamlet<\/em>, Act 1:<\/b> Hamlet is acting kind of moody lately Wuthering Heights<\/em>, chapter 7:<\/b> Heathcliff has bad table manners The Odyssey<\/em>, book 1:<\/b> Odysseus never returned home from the war To Kill a Mockingbird<\/em>, chapter 2:<\/b> Scout gets into trouble at school Great Expectations<\/em>, chapter 2:<\/b> Pip steals a pie and feels bad about it The Catcher in the Rye<\/em>, chapter 4:<\/b> Holden is having problems with his roommate When it comes to books, there is a Point A and a Point B, and then a bunch of stuff that happens in the middle. Writers are generally pretty good about including that middle bit\u2014explaining, continue reading<\/span>
\nThe Great Gatsby<\/em>, chapter 8:<\/b> Gatsby takes the fall \u00a0for vehicular manslaughter<\/p>\n
\nLord of the Flies<\/em>, chapter 12:<\/b> Jack hunts Ralph for sport and sets the island on fire<\/p>\n
\nA Separate Peace<\/em>, chapter 12:<\/b> Finny dies in surgery and it’s all Gene’s fault<\/p>\n
\nThe Adventures of Tom Sawyer<\/em>, chapter 32:<\/b> Tom gets trapped in a cave and must keep from \u00a0succumbing to hunger, exhaustion, and dehydration if he wants to make it out alive. Oh and there’s a murderer on the loose<\/p>\n
\nMacbeth<\/em>, Act 3:<\/b> Macbeth is haunted by the ghost of the man he more or less killed<\/p>\n
\nRomeo and Juliet<\/em>, Act 5:<\/b> Juliet commits suicide for a boy she met four days ago<\/p>\n
\nHarry Potter and the Deathly Hallows<\/em>, chapter 34:<\/b> Harry must \u00a0walk calmly into death’s waiting arms<\/p>\n
\nHamlet<\/em>, Act 5:<\/b> Hamlet is murdering people, caressing skulls, and leaping into graves<\/p>\n
\nWuthering Heights<\/em>, chapter 27:<\/b> Heathcliff kidnaps multiple people and holds them hostage in his basement<\/p>\n
\nThe Odyssey<\/em>, book 22:<\/b> Odysseus returns home and immediately murders 117 people<\/p>\n
\nTo Kill a Mockingbird<\/em>, chapter 28:<\/b> Scout almost gets stabbed to death in a ham costume<\/p>\n
\nGreat Expectations<\/em>, chapter 46:<\/b> Pip voluntarily helps a wanted criminal flee from justice<\/p>\n
\nThe Catcher in the Rye<\/em>, chapter 22: <\/b>Holden comes to terms with the inevitability of death<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"