{"id":1398982,"date":"2019-08-19T10:00:20","date_gmt":"2019-08-19T14:00:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/community.sparknotes.com\/?p=1398982"},"modified":"2019-08-20T10:49:53","modified_gmt":"2019-08-20T14:49:53","slug":"what-to-do-if-you-left-your-summer-reading-to-the-last-minute","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"\/blog\/what-to-do-if-you-left-your-summer-reading-to-the-last-minute\/","title":{"rendered":"What to Do If You Left All of Your Required Reading Until the Last Minute"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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There’s nothing worse than heading back to school after summer vacation and realizing that you did approximately zero reading for English class over the last 8 weeks (to be fair, Netflix wasn’t going to watch \u00a0itself<\/em> \u00a0for 1300 hours). \u00a0The Great Gatsby<\/a><\/em> \u00a0languished unread on your bookshelf, you failed to crack open \u00a0The Scarlet Letter<\/a><\/em> \u00a0even once, and you’re pretty sure \u00a0Moby-Dick<\/a><\/em>has a whale in it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Should you find yourself in this unenviable situation, rest assured there are ways to get yourself out of it. Our first suggestion is to read the sh#% out of our Blogging The Classics<\/a><\/strong> \u00a0series, which offers hilarious\/legit helpful summaries of pretty much every book you’ll ever be required to read. We’ve linked to each series right here in this very slideshow; just click through for brilliant, easy-to-understand analysis on \u00a0Hamlet<\/a><\/em>, \u00a0Lord of the Flies<\/a><\/em>, \u00a0Animal Farm<\/em><\/a>, \u00a0The Scarlet Letter<\/em><\/a>, \u00a0The Crucible<\/em><\/a>, \u00a0The Catcher in the Rye<\/a><\/em>, \u00a0Moby-Dick<\/em>,<\/a> \u00a0The Great Gatsby<\/a><\/em>, \u00a01984<\/a><\/em>, \u00a0The Odyssey<\/a><\/em>, \u00a0To Kill a Mockingbird<\/a><\/em>, and \u00a0Go Set a Watchman.<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you’ve given the above a go, feel free to try these:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Just stare at the book. Hard. No, harder than that. You’re going to have to put some effort into this if you want to absorb the information without ever cracking open a novel. Come on, really squint. Do you even want this?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Trick someone into writing all your essays for you, Tom Sawyer-style.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Tell your teacher that books are responsible for the untimely deaths of everyone you loved. You’ll need some time before you’re emotionally ready to look at a book again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Explain that you did the reading, but you don’t feel qualified to write the essay that your teacher deserves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Burn all your books to really immerse yourself in the bookless dystopia of Fahrenheit 451<\/em>. Present the ashes to your teacher. Would a person have all these ashes if they hadn’t read the book? Check and mate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. Find a psychic who can put you in touch with the authors on your summer reading list. This way, they can help you parse metaphors for meaning from beyond the grave.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

7. Transcend this mortal plane.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

8. The essay is supposed to be between 5 and 7 pages. Say that you are only capable of writing essays that are 12 pages and that you refuse to compromise your morals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

9. Go ahead and write the essay without ever reading the book and just hope you fail upwards. They say even a stopped clock is right twice a day. Perhaps this is one of those times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

10. Go for a walk to clear your mind. Start running. Keep running and don’t look back. Flee the country. Start a new life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There’s nothing worse than heading back to school after summer vacation and realizing that you did approximately zero reading for English class over the last 8 weeks (to be fair, Netflix wasn’t going to watch continue reading<\/span>\n <\/path>\n <\/svg><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":40,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[7,9],"tags":[265,395,3620,628,2335,5161,1356,524,666,3329,25017,3049,2798,454,949,1764,643,1387],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1398982"}],"collection":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/40"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1398982"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1398982\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1419167,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1398982\/revisions\/1419167"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1398982"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1398982"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1398982"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}