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The definition of hell is “reading out loud in class and coming to a word you don’t know.” (Don’t verify this with Merriam-Webster, just trust me.)<\/p>\n
Now, I understand that people’s names in particular are not “difficult” so much as “a result of the linguistic imperialism in which we toil.” But one time when I was fourteen, I had to try my hand at pronouncing “Cthulhu” in front of the class, and it was embarrassing for everyone involved. I think I said \u201cKUTHEL-hew\u201d and then just didn’t speak again for four years.<\/p>\n
To shield you from a similar fate, I’ve collected a handful of literary names you might encounter in your English class travails, along with pronunciations that are widely considered to be correct.<\/p>\n
Smaug from The Hobbit<\/em><\/strong> Don Quixote<\/strong><\/em> Les Mis\u00e9rables<\/em><\/strong> Jane Eyre<\/strong><\/em> Godot from Waiting for Godot<\/em><\/strong> Don Juan<\/strong><\/em> \u00c3\u2030owyn from Lord of the Rings<\/em><\/strong> According to Tolkien himself, there’s a diphthong in there. You should be saying the name with two syllables, not three. So like \u201cear-win\u201d without the R sound.<\/p>\n Daenerys Targaryen from A Song of Ice and Fire<\/em><\/strong> Hercule Poirot from the Agatha Christie stories<\/strong> Samuel Pepys<\/strong> d’Artagnan from The Three Musketeers<\/em><\/strong> Circe from The Odyssey<\/em> (and Greek mythology in general)<\/strong> Cthulhu from The Call of Cthulhu<\/em><\/strong> The definition of hell is “reading out loud in class and coming to a word you don’t know.” (Don’t verify this with Merriam-Webster, just trust me.) Now, I understand that people’s names in particular are continue reading<\/span>
\nInstead of \u201csmog,\u201d it’s supposed to be \u201csmowg.\u201d Think “loud.” Throw an \u201cow\u201d in there like someone punched you in the face mid-word.<\/p>\n
\nGiven that this is where we got the word \u201cquixotic,\u201d it certainly SEEMS like we should be saying \u201cDon KWIKS-oat,\u201d and it’s just plain confusing that we’re not. At least, not in the United States. The U.K. pronounces it that way, but in the U.S., we say \u201cDon key-HO-tay,\u201d which is closer to the original Spanish. In France, they throw all of this out the window and just say what sounds like \u201cDonkey-shot,\u201d because of <\/i>course they do.<\/p>\n
\nIf you don’t speak French, everything in Les Mis\u00e9rables<\/em> is a phonetic disaster because Victor Hugo hated high school students and you in particular. But if you can say \u201clay MIZZ-uh-ROB,\u201d you’ll be causing actual, physical pain to Francophones both near and far, but you’ll get by just fine in honors English.<\/p>\n
\nI myself pronounced \u201cEyre\u201d like \u201ceerie\u201d for a length of time that is frankly embarrassing. Mostly in my head, but I’m sure once or twice out loud. Say it like \u201cair.\u201d<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"http:\/\/img.sparknotes.com\/content\/sparklife\/sparktalk\/literarypronunciationsdivider.jpg\")
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\nAccording to this article<\/a> in The New York Times<\/em>, there is no right way to pronounce \u201cGodot,\u201d and anyone who says otherwise has chosen the wrong hill to die on. \u201cGuh-DOE\u201d is acceptable, as is \u201cGOD-oh.\u201d Samuel Beckett’s nephew insists the playwright himself pronounced it \u201cgo-doe.\u201d But while there may not be a right way to say it, I think we can all agree there is a wrong way, and that is “GO-dot.”<\/p>\n
\nThis is just one of those names no one is pronouncing correctly and it seems highly unlikely that anyone will call you out on it. That said, Lord Byron intended it to be pronounced \u201cDon JEW-un\u201d (in the poem, he makes it rhyme with things like \u201cthrew on\u201d and \u201cruin\u201d and \u201ctrue one\u201d) instead of the oft-mispronounced \u201cDon Wahn.\u201d<\/p>\n
\nWhenever I have cause to say \u201c\u00c3\u2030owyn\u201d out loud, someone will invariably correct me, only they always say a word that sounds to my dumb, unlearned ears like exactly what I just said. I will say, \u201c\u00c3\u2030owyn?\u201d and they will shake their head vigorously and say, \u201c\u00c3\u2030owyn<\/i>,\u201d and I will say, \u201cOh, okay. So \u00c3\u2030owyn,\u201d and they will correct me with a frantic \u201c\u00c3\u2030OWYN.\u201d (Full disclosure: I also have this problem with the name \u201cCraig.\u201d)<\/p>\n
\nI hope to God you’re not reading A Song of Ice and Fire<\/em> as a class, but I’m throwing this in here anyway because if you want to be part of the cultural milieu, chances are you’re going to run into this problem eventually. Say it with me: \u201cdeh-NAIR-iss.\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n
\nI took a lot of French, so I know how to pronounce this now<\/i>, but there was a time when my understanding of the pronunciation of \u201cHercules\u201d made this absolutely unwieldy. Say it like \u201cair-CULE pwah-ROE\u201d if you want your teachers to like you and your fellow students to care not one bit.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
\nSamuel Pepys was a diarist who wrote about things like drinking tea and sleeping with women who were not his wife. Left to my own devices, I would probably pronounce his last name like “PEP-iss.” But that is not the way. It is “peeps.”<\/p>\n
\nIt’s pronounced \u201cdahr-TAN-yen\u201d if you’re taking AP Lit in the United States and you have a rhotic accent, but I’m sure they spruce it up in places that don’t (\u201cdah-TAHN-yon\u201d).<\/p>\n
\nDo not be one of those people who thinks this is pronounced monosyllabically, like \u201cSIRS\u201d with a soft S and a hard stop. Let me reiterate that: don’t be me in ninth grade. It’s \u201cSIR-see.\u201d (Although \u201cKIR-kee\u201d is also acceptable in Greece.)<\/p>\n
\nDon’t make my mistakes. Don’t have my regrets. Say \u201ckuh-THOO-loo.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"